The Kanej Story [COMPLETED]

Sleep

Authors note: OH MY GOD!! Thank you guys so much for the reads. I never actually thought people would read this 😂 so thank you beautiful people so much. This one does not end in a cliffhanger. So yay! Anyway enjoy the chapter!
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Inej POV
Ohhhh, well she had walked into that one. He was looking so lost. In all honesty he kind of reminded her of a puppy at the moment. She knew the answer to his question. And she couldn't really avoid it, since he asked her straight out. So she simply nodded her head.

Kaz who had been watching her intently froze. He stopped breathing. He stopped moving. And yet he continued to look at her. His breathing picked back up again but in a ragged rhythm.

"Say it. Out loud. I need to hear you say it." Kaz whispered forcefully. As if he was fighting to get the words out.

"Yes." She whispered right back to him, trying to gauge his reaction. But apparently this still wasn't good enough.

"All of it. Say all of it." He said with more volume, looking like he was about to be torn in half.

"I, Inej Ghafa, am in love with you, Kaz Brekker." She told him looking right into his eyes. His eyes that were the color of bitter coffee. His eyes that never revealed his secrets, no matter how hard she looked. So when his breath stalled again and he made a sound in the back of his throat that sounded like he was choking, She tried to pull back to read his face.

But she found some resemblance to emotion in his eyes, for once. There was disbelief that she loved him, surprise that she said it, and hope that maybe she meant it.

"I- really?" Kaz whispered to her, obviously trying and failing to stomp down the hope that was growing stronger every minute that she didn't try to retract her statement.

"Yes, Kaz. I actually am in love with you." She told him, wondering why the disbelief was still there.

"Why?" He asked her, his voice cracking on the word. The word that made her want to scream and rage and cry, at the fact that he honestly didn't see how he could be loved. It broke her heart. So with a hand she motioned for them to sit down on the he bed, so she could explain. Kaz quickly complied and soon they were both sitting cross legged on his bed. Facing each other.

"You wanna know why I love you?" Inej asked him, to which he hurriedly nodded his head.

"I love you because although you're kind of a dick, And you're not very nice at times, I can see the person that is underneath Dirtyhands. I can see the boy that you are and the man you will be. And through all your faults I even love the man that you have had to become for your sake, and the gangs sake. I love your scheming face, even though it scares the shit out of me at times. I love the fact that you never back down from a fight, no matter how outmatched you are. Even when it scares me to death, when it happens. I love how you're so smart, even though you use your mind for devious reasons. But It wouldn't be your mind if you didn't. I love the times, when you're sassy. And the times when you're serious. I love that I can't sneak up on you anymore, even though I think it would be fun to scare you once in a while. So all in all....I love all of you Kaz Brekker. Faults and all."

She hadn't meant to drone on, but with the way Kaz was looking at her, it seemed like he needed to hear it. But with all her ranting she remembered that he hadn't said it. And if he didn't, she would find a way to be okay with that. Her heart was a arrow and it had already found its mark. If he chose to snap the arrow in half she would try to pick up the pieces and move on. Kaz was still looking at her like she was a miracle. Well I mean she was *internal hair flip*.

"I thought you hated how evil I am." Kaz whispered.

"Kaz. I don't think you're evil. Actually I know you're not evil." Inej told him truthfully. He suddenly took a frustrated breath and blew it back out forcefully.

"You can't try to make me a better man than I am, Wraith. I am not gonna be that good guy that makes you feel safe and gives you a false sense of security. I don't really think, you know what you're talking about." He said to her looking her straight in the eye. What a dick! Telling her that she didn't understand her own feelings!

"Kaz as much as you think that you are a monster, I have never thought so. Because I can see the small, scared child you were. And yes, there is no safety in the barrel. But don't you ever tell me that I don't understand what I feel." Inej told him, so forcefully that he drew back in surprise.

"Don't tell me that I don't know how I feel. Because I know that it's not good for me to fall in love with you. Everyone told me that it could never work. They think you're a scary man that doesn't have any boundaries. Well guess what Kaz, as much as you think you are, you are NOT unlovable." The more that she talked the more the words flowed. She was no longer thinking with her head but she was letting her heart speak for her. And right now her heart had a lot to say.

"And you do have boundaries. Because you would never SELL someone like a animal. You would never deem them less than human like that. So when you tell me that I don't understand my feelings, it hurts worse than if you had just straight up rejected me. Because you are no longer insulting me, you are insulting yourself. And I WON'T hear it!" She ended her speech with a flourish of her hands, when she threw them up into the air.

Kaz obviously didn't have a answer, and he was just staring at her in awe. And if she didn't know him as well, she would have thought that was all. But she did know him better, so she saw the exhaustion that was weighing down his limbs and dragging at his eyelids, which he seemed to be fighting a hard pressed battle to keep them open. She too a long, deep breath and settled herself. She told herself his health was first and answers we second. So she would abide by that.

"Kaz we can talk about this later, when you've slept. And maybe eaten a little more in the morning." Inej told him quietly, slowly and gently pushing his shoulder to show him that she wanted him to lay down. He resisted of course.

"Kaz we can talk about it in the morning. But you need to be at tip top shape and arguing isn't helping. Go to bed I'll be down stairs when you wake up." She said, Turning to make her way to the door. Suddenly a hand reached out and held her hand before she could leave his bedside.

"Stay." He whispered, he could see she was about to protest so he amended "just until I fall asleep." He pleaded with her. Using his new tactic, he pouted at her giving her his best puppy dog eyes. And Inej, who suddenly remembering when he had the same thing on the Ice Court Heist. Asking her to stay with him. She couldn't say no twice. So she nodded and slid into the bed with him. She curled up on her side and watched as he fought back his smile and laid down on his stomach with his face pillowed in his hands.

His bare hands, she realized wondering how/when he took them off without her seeing him do it. He had them on when he grabbed her hand so it had to have been in the Past minute. Well Kaz, was kaz. So shrugging it off she watched as he slowly relaxed and fell into sleep. She slowly and carefully sat up careful not to disturb him. And in a move she knew would piss him off, if he ever found out that she did it, She ran her fingers through his hair a few times.

It was so soft. A gasp escaped her lips as she felt how silky the black strands felt sliding through her fingers. Suddenly Kaz shifted and Inej heard him sigh in content. Aww, Kaz liked his hair being played with. That was cute!!

Sadly she had to go, so removing her hand reluctantly from his hair, she gently got off the bed and walked toward the door. Taking great care not to let the floorboards creak, she rolled her weight through the balls of her feet and walked on the tips of her toes.

Once she got to the door she couldn't resist turning around and taking a look at him before she left. He looked so peaceful asleep. Quietly she took the door knob in her hand and opened the door walking through and carefully shut the door behind her.

Authors note: so? I was in a sappy mood. 😅 But we still Haven't heard (read I guess) the words from the Creepy Genius Himself. Maybe next chapter? Hmm, so many possibilities. *evil laugh*