Unspoken Genuinity

My Honest Poem

I was born on March 25.

I'm an Aries.

I'm still learning how to socialize and talk with people, how to speak without stuttering and stumbling over every other word, feeling like a fool in my own body.

I was born loud. Talking to strangers as a kid I wasn't afraid. Now I feel like every single little breath and trembling finger speaks loudly about the nervousness living inside me.

I've been told to "relax". To "speak louder" or "talk more".

I have a fascination with silence. How it rings in my ears late at night as I listen to the quiet squeaks and noises coming from my house and the outside world.

I tend to somehow overshare information and keep a lot to myself. It's weird, I know.
I'm scared of rejection and loneliness, even if I hardly ever admit that. I try to come off as someone who doesn't let things get under her skin.

I've never left my house at night to look at the sky and feel the cold air sneak under my clothes.

I wonder what it's like to live in the countryside, where you can see the millions and billions of stars scattered across the sky like spilt salt.

I'm afraid of pain, yet at the same time I crave it. I crave to feel something. Anything! To fill the emptiness inside my chest. Even if it is temporary.

Hi, my name is ¥!•|€##%.

I enjoy singing in the shower. Singing only loud enough for myself to hear, but I don't like overthinking about what my parents think of me.

My hobbies include writing, painting, singing. Not much. I'm not the happiest with these.

I don't know much, but I do know this:
My silence and shyness isn't weak.
I take on the inconsiderate words people throw at me, using my silence as a shield. I'm not the kind to fight fire with fire, but rather someone who stands in the background, fighting a silent battle.