summertime sadness | ethan dolan

i timed it

chapter sixty three
——mackenzie's pov
august 18th, 2019

and suddenly i was packing again. packing to move in with john and quinn. we'd been home for just over a week, and already i'd picked out my very own room in the nathanson house. it had a window seat and built in bookcases and a king size bed, but i still hated it. i was trying not to, but i did. i just could not wrap my brain around how this was going to work. living with john. living with quinn. all of us eating dinner together and spending weekends together and holidays and birthdays and the wedding.

ugh, the wedding.

i picked up a framed photograph from the day my parents had renewed their vows at the shore. my eyes prickled with hot tears and i clenched my teeth. before i could start blubbering, i wrapped it up in newspaper and shoved it into the bottom of a box.

it's over, mackenzie. get used to it.

out in the living room, my mother and john laughed, and my shoulder muscles curled. at least john's house was huge and my room was as far away from theirs as it could get. one of its biggest selling points.

my cell phone beeped and i lunged for it, hoping it was veronica. she hadn't returned my calls or texts since that night at the shore, and i'd been too chicken to go to cvs and corner her. i guess whatever i said to her that night on the beach had been pretty bad. but still, from everything i'd heard from ethan and madeline, things might have been a lot worse if she hadn't been there for me. why would she save my ass if she was so mad at me? was this a temporary freeze out, or were we really not friends anymore?

the text was from madeline, she was packing too. she and her mom were moving into the condos, three doors down from the one we were vacating. the whole thing was so ironic it made me want to vomit on an hourly basis.

found ur old bball jersey. want it?

def. got a walk in closet now :)

lol. f u.

i laughed and dropped the phone back on my bed. tomorrow i would track veronica down at work. this could not go on. she'd said some pretty mean things to me that night too, but i was willing to forgive and forget. maybe, hopefully, she would be too.

the doorbell rang and my heart pitterpattered happily. ethan was here. for a real date. our first since madeline's party. who knew that all i needed to trust him again was for him to drive to the shore, save me from getting arrested, and tell me he loved me?
my stupid heart was a very silly thing.

i had decided not to ask him about the kylie thing, not to know how far they'd gone or where or when or how. in my mind they had only kissed and nothing more. and they were both drunk. and sad over losing me and hammond. maybe ethan was actually passed out and kylie had just taken advantage. that was the version i liked best.

when i opened the door, he was standing there all smiles.
"hey," i said.
"hey."
i smiled. he smiled back. just standing there,
all goofy like that, made my heart full.

"so where're we going?" he asked.
"nowhere you can't walk to!" my mother shouted from the kitchen.
i gritted my teeth. "i'm still grounded, but my mother said we could go out as long as we don't take your car."
"oh." he knocked his fists together. "pizza?"
"pizza's good," i replied, reaching for his hand as i stepped outside. "we're walking to stanzione's!" i shouted.

i tugged ethan down the stairs toward the parking lot. he looked over his shoulder at my mom and john, and waved.

"good to see you, ms.ryan...dr.nathanson."
"have her home by eleven, ethan," john said.
i felt warm all over and had to bite back a retort. something about him not being my father, not making the rules. yeah. living with him was going to be interesting. but as the door closed, i vowed not to think about it. not tonight. i would not let john nathanson ruin this. i swung ethan's hand back and forth as we crossed the parking lot.

"what are you so smiley about?" ethan asked, grinning as well.
"just happy to see you," i told him.
"do you realize that when you move, i'll be able to get to you in two minutes and forty three seconds? i timed it."

wow. could he be any cuter? i leaned my head against his shoulder as we passed by the orchard view condominiums sign that had flowers all around it. "thanks dork," i said.

he squeezed my hand. "for what?"
"for being the one good thing about moving back to the crest."

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i love you all<3
[843 words]
-m
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