The Great Album Escapade [Lashton]

Wake me up now

Five weeks Luke's been living on his own, traveling around the United States. He's made his way to New York City now and he's got himself a room in a nice hotel in the heart of the city. Luke really hates himself for what he's done to Ashton, it's literally all his fault. None of this shit would have happened if he didn't take the stupid song thing too seriously.

Luke writes letters to Ashton when he's feeling sad. He knows he's never going to send these letters so he spills his heart out and says everything. How stupid he is, how much he misses Ashton, how sorry he is, everything comes out in these letters, everything.

Luke is lying on the floor of his hotel room waiting for someone to wake him up from the horrible nightmare that is his life. Of course no one is going to wake him up because this isn't a dream but a boy can hope, right?

To: the best thing that's ever happened to me (ashy)

I wish I could rewind all the times that I didn't show you what your really worth (including right now) I'm so fucking sorry ashy.

Luke knows he's not being subtle about his song quoting but he honestly doesn't even give a fuck anymore. He just wants this terrible life to be over. Suddenly his phone is righting, seeing that it's Ashton he answers it.

"Hey, Ashy."

"I miss you, Lukey."

"I know, Ash, I'm sorry." Luke sighs, "I've made so many mistakes Ashy."

"You've been taking my breath away with them Lukey. It's so much harder to do anything without you."

"I'm sorry." That simple phrase seems to be the only thing Luke can say anymore.

"I wish I could have made you stay," Ashton whispers into the phone, "but I know that it's a little to late."

"I'm the only one to blame, Ashy. I've been a shit boyfriend and friend lately and you and the buys have every right to hate me."

"We don't hate you, Lukey. I promise."

"Mikey sure seems like he does."

"He's just angry. You know how he gets when he's angry, he says things he doesn't mean."

"Yeah, I know." Luke finally gets up off the floor and makes his way onto his bed cuddling into the blankets trying to make it feel as if Ashton is here with him. "I should have put you first, put you before my stupid games and I'm so sorry that I didn't."

"I know, Lukey. I miss the way that you hold me, Lukey."

"I wish that I could be there with you right now." Luke sighs again, another thing he seems to be doing a lot of lately, "Calum told me what happened last week." Tears somehow make their way to his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Lukey. I don't know what came over me. I don't been remember it happening if just kind of happened."

"I understand, Ashton. I'm so fucking sorry that I caused that."

"It wasn't your fault, Luke."

"We both know it was, Ashton. Please don't lie to make me feel better."

"Okay."

The two heartbroken boys sit in a comfortable silence, just listening to the sounds if the other breathing and imagining they were together. Luke hears soft snores coming from the other end of the line and giggles to himself. It's do typical Ashton to be the one to fall asleep when it was much later for Luke than it was for him.

"Goodnight, Ashy. I love you." Luke whispers before hanging up the phone.

To: the best thing that's ever happened to me (ashy)

You fell asleep on the phone, lovely. I'm calling Calum to make sure you're tucked in properly.

Keeping true to his word Luke reopens his calling app and dials Calum's phone number. He older boy answers right away.

"Hi, Luke." He says not sounding to thrilled to be on the phone with the younger boy.

"Hey, Cal. It's been a while."

"Cut the crap, Luke. What do you want?" Calum says just sounding pissed off.

"Um, I was wondering if you could make sure that Ashton was actually in bed. We were talking on the phone and he fell asleep."

"Yeah. Okay, whatever. Is that all you needed?"

"Yeah."

"I hope you know, for you, he'd sacrifice anything to make things right."

"I know Calum," Luke mumbles hating himself more than he did before the call.

"He still believes all of this is his fault, you know. He blames himself for your stupidity."

"I know Calum. You don't think I hate myself for this already? Because I do. I hate myself so much for everything I've put him through. He is the best thing that's ever happened to me and all I've done lately is torture him. He deserves way better than me, he deserves someone who'd actually be able to face the music and get their ass home when they realize they've screwed up instead of running away and only making things worse. I know all of this Calum. I know I'm a shitty boyfriend, friend, human. I'm just all around shitty, okay? I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've fucked everything up but I just don't know what to do anymore." By the end of his rant Luke is full on ugly sobbing.

"Maybe if you'd get your ass home now things wouldn't get worse." Calum says before hanging up the phone.

Luke puts his phone on the night stand and curls into a ball on the bed, pulling the blankets tight around himself he slowly cries himself to sleep wondering when he'll grow the balls to go back to his heaven on earth, also known as Ashton Fletcher Irwin.