sunday january 20th 12:42 am: another sad memory
what's wrong with me
i'm so depressed right now. i don't know what to do. i just want to fucking end everything. it shouldn't be like this. i'm not at that house anymore. he won't hit me again. he will never get the chance but i'm still so scared. i'm scared. i don't remember what it feels like to not be scared. i don't remember the time i didn't hate someone touching me. i hate physical contact because of him. i hate myself because all he would do was call me worthless. "i never loved you. you were never my daughter." fucking hurts. it all hurts. when will i feel better. what's real love? when will i find it? what's wrong with me? why do i want to hurt myself? why do i think i deserve it? what did i do to deserve this? what did i did? look what you've done to me "dad".
now i'm stuck with these thoughts for the rest of my life. i don't think i will make it very far now.
KAMU SEDANG MEMBACA
my life entries
Acakthese are my entries on my mental health. i will post my breakdowns, my good days, things i've done, things i wish i could do. i'm trying to achieve happiness and i hope letting random strangers on the internet read this will help me. thank you.
