got no idea !

chapter 1

part 1

"come 'ere " he said

he held me , both of his arms wrapped around my back , im not used to any of that , he never did that , my mind is racing trying to understand whats going on , but I can't catch up , he closed his eyes getting closer to me and I don't know how to react , my heart rate start to rise the more he get closer , he never panicked me , I swap my head away trying to get away from him , the he realised, opened his eyes and looked at me,

"hold on" he said , he hold me again tighter this time, up from the ground and put me down carefully on a small stool .

he start to do the same again and I can't get that wrapped around my mind that its him doing that .

"Michael .. what are you doing?" I tried to say from my numb throat .

"just try" he answered looking in my eyes with concern .

he closed his eyes again scouting to my face , I turned away again.

"I-i can't do that Michael ! what are you doing?" I almost pleaded for him to stop.

"im sorry ,im trying to find what ur daddy asked ! "he said

I looked at him confused ,my heart still pumping , im pale , and for the first time ever I felt scared around him.

"I mean .. he asked if I love you and the shit of marriage and we have to figure out blah blah "

"so.." I said still feeling scared of what's going on.

"I think that's the only way to know the answer... if I kissed you "

I still can't believe he did that , and what I can't believe even more is that he couldn't recognise how scared I am ... well untill now , he finally recognized

" No ! I didn't mean to scare you!.. I'm sorry ! I was just trying to .. whatever I know thats stupid ! im sorry , don't be scared ! lara ..look at me ! You okay? "he asked lifting my chin to make me look at him.

I nodded in response, I cant make words , and im lying to him , im still scared , my heart is still pumping hard against my chest for some odd reason causing me to gasp for air.

"I am okay ! I just want to go home " I said when I realised he was waiting for words.

"isn't this home !" he said with a broken heart look , although I don't want to go home and I was planning on having the night here away from my daddy for sometime ,now want to go home , I don't feel confortable anymore , he continued when he found no answer from me.

"lara , I didn't mean to scare you , you are safe , i won't hurt you , are you stupid? , I would never do something you don't want !, you are my bestfriend , my sister even , I've done that to know if you are more ! if you dont want to I won't do it ! I won't hurt you , Im the one who knock these stupid bastards at school for you , right? , you can't be scared from me, I won't force you to anything, and that's not what I want ! nor that we are obliged to do anything we don't want to, I care for you silly, c'mon relax , you were never anxious with me , im your bestfriend hah ! "

Im looking at him in the eyes , he isn't lying a bit I know he won't hurt me , but when he acted like that , I couldn't help but panic for some reason, im calmed a bit.

"I know you won't hurt me ...... I just .. I don't know I panicked !" I said trying to ease the situation.

" I'm sorry love ! I didn't mean to , just forget about it now , we can see that later .. wanna have a talk? "

I nodded not sure if it will be awkward or not.

"come .." he said.

he held my hand to get off that stool and sat on the ground in an empty area from the woods around in thier workhouse and I sat opposite to him, he use this place to do some wooden objects I got no idea what they are but he is obessed with them , and I was already doing a project for school he was helping me with.