Silent Souls (Wattys 2014)

Chapter Seven

Her

As I pull away, he reaches for my face, his hands warm on my cheeks. He presses his lips to my forehead.

He’s got that smile of his on his face again. I remember the first day I met him, when he flashed a grin at me like that.

‘Kyle,’ I breathe, unable to help smiling back.

He casts a glance askance, and the look on his face begins to fade, morphing into a frown.

I falter. ‘W-what’s wrong?’

He tears his gaze away from whatever it was that brought the frown upon his face, and his expression softens. He shakes his head. ‘Nothing.’ He touches my face. ‘Are you OK?’ His voice is soft.

He always asks if I’m OK. Ever since I called him…

I nod. ‘I’m good,’ I say, following his straying gaze. ‘I…’ I trail off, my sight snagging on a figure…

Him…

Kyle’s saying something, but I can’t hear him anymore. It’s only me and him. It’s just when I think he’s going to come over that he doesn’t – that he gets up and looks away.

He can’t even look at you.

Him

Picking up the pieces and putting yourself back together after you’ve fallen apart is like trying to put back together a million pieces of shattered glass: some of the shards slip through your fingers; it hurts, and it’s almost impossible. And, as I scramble to my feet, in that moment where our eyes lock, I can feel them slipping through my fingers as I struggle to hold onto the few that remain.

I see her lips move, but I can’t hear what she’s saying.

I don’t want to hear what she’s saying.

I told her I wasn’t good enough, but she ignored me. Now she knows.

Now she’s got him.

She doesn’t need me.

Not anymore.

Her

He’s walking – no, running – away. Again. The last time that happened was the day of our almost-kiss.

It broke my heart to see him walking away from me then. I’m not going to let him do that again. Not this time.

I call his name, but he doesn’t stop. I’ve barely taken two steps before Kyle’s hand snags my wrist.

‘Where are you going?’ he asks.

Wincing, I give him a look over my shoulder. ‘You know where I’m going.’

A look I’m not willing to decipher shadows his features and laces his voice when he snorts, ‘You’re not really going after him, are you?’

The derision underlying his words surprises me. ‘Why?’

He tilts his head a little, trying to mask his shock. He holds a somewhat patronising tone. ‘Come on, you’re not really going to waste your time chasing after him, are you?’ He raises an eyebrow, and in response I narrow my own.

I snatch my wrist away. It still hurts. With every second I spend standing here, he’s walking another step further away from me. I want to leave, but something about the way Kyle says what he does delays me. ‘Why not?’