Chapter One

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"They say you know he's coming because all the lights go out," the little girl read. "And further, they say you know he loves you when he takes all of Neverland with him when he goes out to get you."

I smiled to myself at the story. The younger kids where reading some adaption of Peter Pan together. I loved listening to their voices, and how they were entranced with the possibility and hope. I looked over at them- Sally, Ned, Georgia, Frank, and Emily sat in a little circle together, hudled around the book. Sally was the oldest out of all of them- she was eight or nine, so she was the one reading.

I remembered when I used to do that, with the other kids my age, until I was twelve and alone and had lost hope. When everyone else my age was taken by a nice family I was left in the dust. The oldest in the foster home, at 16, there was no way someone would adopt me at this point.

"Lily!" the kids called. "Come over here! Come read with us!"

I sighed. "I wish i could, but if i dont finish sweeping, Terry'll have my head!" i said. "Later, okay?"

I heard a collective sigh of dissapointment. "Okay..." they said, almost in unison.

I smiled and comtinued to sweep. Just then, I heard a loud clomp clomp clomp of heels down the hallway. Speak of the devil...

"Lily, may i have a word?" Terry sharply asked. I nodded and set the broom aside as she lead me out into the hallway.

"What does this look like to you?" she asked, pulling a fork out of her pocket.

"Is this a trick question...?" i said tentatively.

"Don't sass me, young lady!" Terry said sharply. "You are the oldest in this entire home. How do you expect to get away with this," she said, shoving the fork in my face, "when you have all your responsibilities?" Her voice was slowly raising.

"I really have no clue what your talking about..." I began.

"Quiet!" she shouted. "When you are on dish duty, you wash ALL of the damn dishes! And this fork is DIRTY."

By now all of the kids were in the hall. "Please your making a scene..." i started.

"You want to escape your responsibilities?" she screamed. "Fine! You get your wish! Sally!" she called. Sally quickly ran up to Terry.

"Yes, Ms. Terry?" she said, her voice shaking.

"You get a very special gift, my lovely Sally," Terry said in an ice cold voice. "You get all of Lily's chores for a full two weeks!" She gave her biggest, fakest smile. "Because Lily, here, has given up on said responsibilities."

"What are you doing? Punish me, not Sally!" I said.

"No, you have gotten what you want!" Terry said, and then she laughed. "Aren't you happy?"

I couldn't believe her. I stormed away.

~~~

I sat in my room and seethed. The door creaked open and Sally walked in.

"Oh, Sally, I'm so sorry-" I began.

"No, it's okay," she said in a small voice. "I just came in to... well... you promised that you would read to us and..."

I laughed. "Of course, how could I forget? I'll come read with you, silly." I ruffled her hair and followed her to the playroom.

The kids smiled upon sight of me. "Alright, what are we reading today?"

Frank handed me their copy of Peter Pan. "Didn't you already read this?" I asked.

"We stopped though. We want you to finish it," Emily said.

"Alright," i said, opening the book to the page that was marked. Taking a breath i began reading.

"They say that he has separated from his own shadow, and that together they are a mischevious bunch. They say something even more wonderous than just this- that the boy can never grow up, that he is from a land where they never do. He and his group, the Lost Boys, have lovely unkown abilities on this lovely unknown land."

I imagined that- being in a group, one where i belonged. Looking into the eyes of the kids, you can see the two conflicting emotions, the one of hope and the one of hopelessness. If only i could still have that mix of emotions. I imagined being with the Lost Boys. I wondered what belonging would feel like. I wondered-

I wondered what hope felt like.

"Lily? Why'd you stop reading?" Ned asked. "Is something wrong?"

"I... no, nothing's wrong. But, i think i have homework to do," I said. I dropped the book. Things looked fuzzy as I ran out of the room and into my own. Slamming and locking the door, i stared into the mirror.

My vision was so blurry i couldn't even see myself. A tear fell out of my eye.

I- I haven't cried in years,,, I completely forgot what is feels like.

I sank down untill i was on the floor and I cried.

~~~

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