Beautiful Liar

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Well, it's Friday again, so now you have to read some more of this. Sorry. So what's Tori going to do? The course of true love never did run smooth...

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Jade stood at the kitchen sink. Coffee. She needed coffee. And soon. But she couldn't quite focus on that, so instead she rinsed a glass and poured herself some water.

They hadn't slept together. And when she dared to think too closely about it, all she could feel was a profound sense of relief. Not because in a strange way it would have seemed like cheating, almost - taking a shortcut to something she wanted without paying her dues, without having to work for it - and Tori deserved more than that. And not because Tori didn't remember anything - if they had done it, she was pretty sure that waking up to find a naked Jade sprawled all over her would have given Tori at least an inkling of what had happened. No it was...

What if Tori had woken up and regretted it? What if it really had just been a fumble in the dark, a drunken one-night stand? Or worse, what if she'd been disappointed?

Jade had never slept with a woman before, and while she was vaguely aware that they all had the same bits and pieces as her, and they'd probably like more or less the same things she did, she had no idea how that worked in practice, what the practicalities were, the formalities, the etiquette. Sex with Beck had followed a well-rehearsed format, that began with a murmured 'Hey, Babe', and ended with him snoring away while she sighed and tried to ignore the fact that yet again she was the one with her ass on the damp patch. She'd seen plenty of porn, but that bore as much relation to real sex as those flashy adverts for amazing labor-saving device bore to the sad little lump of plastic that actually arrived in the post and broke two weeks later. What if she'd screwed it up? What if she'd committed some heinous, unforgivable faux-pas that marked her out as an amateur? What if...

She was gripped by a new terror. What if she hadn't been as good as Carla? What if they'd done it, and afterwards Tori had laid there, sighing in frustration, reliving all the epic, mind-blowing, toe-curling, earth-shattering, fabulous sex that she'd had with Carla and wishing she was back there? Oh God. Oh no no no no no. That was bad. No, they could never sleep together. Never ever. Never ever ever. Unless...

Maybe there was some kind of course she could go on, or some kind of manual that she could go away and study really, really hard. That was it. And then, if and when the time came, she could burst into the bedroom, waving her diploma, and...

"Jade?"

"Jesus!" She jumped at the sound, and threw cold water all over herself. She turned, face dripping, to see Tori standing behind her.

"Are you okay?" the other girl said.

"I'm fine," Jade said quickly. "I was just... making coffee." She held out the glass, which failed to bear this out.

"Right," Tori said, doubtfully.

"Only I forget to... put any coffee in it. Or heat the water. Or use a cup. So maybe I'll just start again." She turned back to the counter.

"I won't call her."

"Who?" Jade clattered cups around noisily.

"Carla. I won't call her if you don't want me to."

Jade turned with a sigh. "It's nothing to do with me, Tori."

"Well, it kind of is."

"Why?"

"Because you're my friend. And if it upsets you, I won't do it."

"It's not that it upsets me, it's just..."

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