BDSM is an overlapping term standing for bandage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. It is a life style involving between two and three kinds of people; those who are dominant, those who are submissive, and lastly the people who switch back and forth between the two. The dominants are those in charge of the relation ships, they set the rules and expectations for the submissive or slave. They are also in charge of punishing or disciplining the submissive when they disobey the rules, or commands of their master. The submissive gives up their control and power to their dominant partner and in return expect them to stay within the limits given. In giving over the power to their dominant the submissive is showing their trust in the person not to over step the limits given to them. The submissive or slave is expected to obey the orders, commanders and rules set and given to them by their master.
Another part of relation ships are the safe words. They are worded used to indicate if either person needs to stop or slow down in a scene, without using the word 'no' because it may be said, and not meant, so safe words are things that wouldn't normally be said. A common set if safe words are green, yellow, and red like a stoplight. Green is used when the submissive is all good, and ready to continue, and take all their master is willing to offer them. The slave will use the word yellow when the need to slow down, they do now yet need to completely stop, but they are getting close to their limit. Red is to be used when the sub needs to completely stop the scene, or what ever is being done. While those are common words used, some people will choose a different set of words to use for the same propose. While it is important for the submissive to have safe words, in some relationships, especially ones where the dominants is inexperienced they can use them, or another set of safe words that they choose if they get overwhelmed.
At third thing to know is the difference between a D/S or dominance and submission, M&S or master and slave, and a more plain BDSM relation ships. In a dominance and submission relation ship, while one person submits to the other and gives them control, they do not always include all aspects of BDSM. With a master and slave relation ship one person will again submit to the other, like in a D/S relation ship except that this kind of relation ship is more normally fully immersed in BDSM. The differed between a BDSM and M&S relation ship is that in a master and salve relation ship the master will normally have more control over the slave, and the submissive in a BDSM relation ship has more of an ability to say 'no' when they do not want to do something. The difference in a submissive and a slave is a sub has and wants more of a say in things than a slave, and gives more of and input, though there are submissive salves who are more of a combination of the two.
A common thing in BDSM is to have a contract between the dom and sub. The contract will specify all of the sues and limits set by both the master and slave, and what would happen if said limits were broken. The contract can continue a set time limit that the relation ship will lasts until unless agreed to be broken by everyone involved. While the contracts are not legally binging they are expected to be up help, and not crossed. The contract can also hold information on wether the dominant can get another submissive, and if the submissive it to obey the commands of other dominants, or if they will be to only listen to the word of their own master. The contract will hold a of the hard and soft limits given by all of the people in the relation ship. Soft limits are limits that are there because one person is uncomfortable with what it is about, but willing to experiment and see how they feel about what ever it was. Hard limits are lines set that can not be crossed, and what ever it is is completely off limits because what ever it is, one or more person will not do it. For most BDSM contracts if the dom breaks a hard limit, unless otherwise decided the contract is void, leaving the sub free. Common limits are blood, feces, and water-sports. Also many people have permeant marking and scarring as a limit, plus anything that can cause long lasting or permeant harm to the submissive.
A common symbol of a BDSM is a collar worn by the submissive, to show that they are owned by their master, it also is another representation of their submission to the dom. There are many different kinds of collars, such as protection, training, play, daytime, and ones that mean the sub and master will stay together forever. Protection collars are given to subs who the dom is only claiming ownership of to keep them safe, and make them unapproachable by other doms. A training collar symbolizes that the dom is either training the sub, but not looking for an actual relation ship with them, or that the dom and sub are trying out a relation ship, but have not yet decided for a full commitment to each other. A play collar is worn by a submissive in a scene, it is used when a submissive does not yet have a collar, does not wear one, or if the dom and sub are only playing for one or two scenes, and are not going to enter a relation ship. A daytime collar is less noticeable as a collar, and ISPs for places the sub might go such as work or out, where people may not be very accepting. They are not always a necklace or collar type thing, they may be a bracket or cuff like thing. And finally a long time collar is a essentially a marriage type level agreement between the dominant and submissive.
