Maybe

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A/N: Felt  a little sad so I felt like writing today! It's a little rough I know, it's been a while since I wrote something. As always let me know. :) 

The cold air is hitting the corner of my face as I walk through the streets downtown. It feels familiar yet so foreign and my heart aches a little.

A soft sigh escaped my quivering lips trying to calm myself.

It's been five months since I saw Brittany and just the thought gave me chill. But not the chill I remember – this time, it's different. My hand sweats a little and my mouth dries almost making me want to turn around and maybe walk my way home.

"Miss?" A male voice threw my thoughts out of the window realizing that I'm blocking the glass door.

I cleared my throat. "Sorry." I muttered, completely making my way in.

Strong scent of coffee penetrated my senses and I cannot help but close my eyes for a second savoring the smell. I don't drink coffee anymore. Not since I met Brittany.

Brittany changed me.

She changed me in many ways.

She made me a better version of myself.

I now live a thousand three hundred and sixty-seven miles away from her. We see each other every three to five months. She got a job in Lima and I got a job here in Boston. I knew it would be the most difficult phase of our life, living away from each other. It's like keeping your heart yourself every three to five months just to have it broken after a week or two because you know you'll have to wait for months before you see that person again.

I'm 25 and my life here in New York is going well, I'm a junior associate in a firm I have been dreaming about since I entered college, I live in a top condominium in Boston and there's nothing I could really ask for but for the love of my life to come here and live with me.

Quinn is behind the counter and her eyes brightened at the sight of me coming towards her.

"Santana!" She smiled so wide. "What are you doing here?" She added crossing her arms.

"Hey." I greeted back. "I'm meeting Brittany." I told her with my voice an octave lower.

"You don't seem happy." She asked me, puzzled. "Isn't that great? Since you guys haven't been talking for I don't know, a month?"

"Sure." I answered with a hint of sarcasm in my voice.

"What's wrong?" She asked looking at me with worry in her eyes.

I shook my head, clicking my tongue. "I don't know Quinn. It's different." I inhaled sharply. "Anyway, can I get a tea? Also, for Brittany maybe she'll have the same." Quinn examined my face for a second or two before nodding with sadness written all over her face.

I sat in a cold empty chair across the counter. My eyes wander the coffee shop. The last time I've been here was with Brittany holding my hand – happy. My mouth dried a little more as I recall that day.

What happened to us?

A soft sigh escaped my lips, my fingers drumming on the table.

I love her.

I love her with all my heart.

But is that really enough? They say distance is just distance and love is a lot stronger than everything -more I so thought it was.

What happened to us?

My chest tightens a little at the thought.

I don't even know the answer. Was it me? Was it her? Maybe it was the both of us.

Maybe there was a problem, and we just don't see it. Maybe it was that day I forgot to hold the door for her. Maybe it was that day I didn't call her when I got home from work. Maybe it was that day I asked her not to bring Lord Tubbington at my apartment. Maybe it was that day she has to take the taxi on her way to my place.

Maybe the distance wasn't working for us.

Maybe we weren't strong enough for this.

I lightly suck in my lips still hearing Brittany's voice in my head when she called me earlier this morning. Her voice was so low and cold. I know that voice. It wasn't planned that she's coming – there's not even a single context with what she tells me why she's coming. I even asked if I could pick her at the airport and she said no. I knew there's something wrong. I would've insisted but I know she'll just reject me again so I said okay and told her to meet me here instead.

It's been a month since we had that fight over the phone. We haven't talked ever since.

The place got a little bit crowded, so I checked my phone and it was already nearly four in the afternoon – she'll be here any second. My breath hitched a little seeing Brittany's bright smile on the lock screen. That smile used to make butterflies in my stomach go crazy.

Just before I finished another train of thought – I saw a glimpse of blonde hair, blue eyes and familiar figure approaching me.

"Hey."

"Hey."

I feel nothing.

Nothing.

I feel an empty and void feeling in my chest.

I felt nothing it hurt.

By that moment, I knew what the problem is – we both fell out of love.

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⏰ Cập nhật Lần cuối: Jan 27, 2019 ⏰

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