Shadows and Lies

Chapter 12

Loki stayed silent for a long time. He was only just starting to want a bit of redemption, he didn't know if he was ready to expose his most deeply rooted lie yet.
"I've... Ive already told you" he said to Thor after what felt like several minute of just sitting silently.
"You told me it's because you think I was part of the lie, that I somehow knew all along that you're a frost giant" Thor said "but we both know that's not what it really is. You're not an idiot, in fact you're one of the smartest people I've ever met, so there's no way you're actually foolish enough to think I ever knew." Loki didn't respond, so Thor kept going "so what is it really? What did I do to you? When did you go from being my best friend to being someone who wanted to kill me?" Loki put down his food, he really didn't feel like eating now.
"Because you lied to me and you betrayed my trust" Loki said again. Thor got irritated.
"Loki come on I know that's not the reason. How could I have possibly known-" Loki cut him off.
"That's not the lie I'm talking about!" He snapped, then quickly tried to Get his composure back.
"Well then.... what is it?" Thor trod to think of something he'd done to Loki, but he had no idea. He racked his brain trying to remember some lie, some act of cruelty he'd committed toward Loki but he kept coming up empty.
"I can't. I'm not doing this, I'm not having this conversation" loki said, all of a sudden he was letting Thor get inside his head, he didn't like it, he felt vulnerable and exposed and he didn't like it.
"You can't just drop that on me and then not tell me what I did. You said you wanted to try out honesty, this is a great opportunity" Thor urged, loki had opened himself up for a hot second and Thor really didn't want him to close up again.
"Yeah I said I would try it, and I did. I'm not a fan" loki responded.
"Please Loki, you don't have to be alone for the rest of your life, and maybe if you tell me what happened then I can try to mend it, I can explain myself or at very least apologize for it. Why won't you let me do that?" Thor waited, Loki's jaw tightened he tapped his leg with his hand, his mind was racing. Finally he shook his head again.
"I can't. Maybe I can eventually... but not now" he said quietly. Thor sighed a bit, he wished Loki wasn't always so difficult.
"Alright.... Alright, well answer me this; are you serious? Are you serious about wanting a second chance?" Thor asked him.
"I think so. I'm figuring that out" loki said back. That was good enough for Thor.
"Alright that's fine, that's enough for me. I can wait for your cooperation, but the council can't, so you're going to come inside with me and sit in during my next meeting and you're going to answer any question they ask you" Thor stated.
"You're crazy. I'm not talking to anyone, I'm certainly not going to let your council interrogate me" Loki protested.
"It wasn't a question. I'd love it if you came willingly, but I will put you in chains and drag you in there by force if I have to. I've run out of reasons to give them for letting you live, if I tell them you're willing to cooperate then maybe they'll ease up a bit" Thor told him. "I'll wait, I'll let you go slow, I'll try to help you tame your anger, but the council won't. They aren't to intent on helping you because you honestly don't really deserve that, so you have to give me something to work with, cause I'm all out of excuses" he added. Loki was quiet for a minute, he did on some level want to fix himself again, he just wasn't really ready to let go of all his pride yet. But maybe he could fake it for a meeting.
"Okay, Fine, I'll do it... I can do that" he said after a minute. He knew he had a problem and he knew it would be hard to overcome it, but he had to try, he had to start somewhere. And it would be a lot easier to practice honesty to a group of people who are interrogating him than Thor, who was asking emotionally painful questions that weren't easy to think about.
"Thank you. Finish eating then so we can go in" Thor told him.
Loki pushed his plate forward to indicate that he would be finished.
"I'm done. I don't feel like finishing" he said.
"I'm sure that's true, but you have to finish, Katarina's orders" Thor said, putting the plate back in front of Loki. Loki rolled his eyes but finished the food anyway.
Thor brought loki inside and dropped him off in his room. Thor needed to tell the council that loki was coming so they were prepared.
Delivering the news went about as well as he'd expected; they protested and argued, and only agreed to let Loki set foot in the council-room when Thor promised to have him heavily restrained.
Once they finally agreed, Thor sent the guards to retrieve Loki.
"Is this really necessary?" Loki asked when the guards started cuffing his ankles, which were chained to the cuffs in his wrists, which were chained to the cuff around his throat.  "I'm cooperating aren't I? Why do you have to-" he winced when the guard pulled on his chains for really no reason "be so aggressive?" He finished.
"Kings orders" the guard said smugly, tightening the cuffs with another harsh pull.
Loki winced again, but he tried to bite his tongue. He was about to talk to the council (who all want him dead) to try to convince them that he was worth keeping around.
"Get up" the guards grabbed Loki under his arms and forced him up to his feet. He tried to put most of his weight on his better leg,  but the guards dragged him out of the room and to the meeting room rather quickly, so Loki didn't really get the chance to figure out how to walk without his leg screaming in pain.
They got to the meeting room and shoved Loki down in a chair and chained his wrists to the table.
"Seriously, Stop it. I'm not your favorite person but you don't have to aggressive" Loki snapped in annoyance. They knew he couldn't defend himself or do anything to relieve his own pain, and they were just exploiting that. The rest of the council was already there, as well as Thor, so the guards just stepped back.
"Quiet prisoner" one of the councilmen said "the only time we want you to speak is when you're answering our questions" he added.
"Prisoner? You're going to-" Loki caught Thor's eyes and Thor was clearly telling him to shut up and be as cooperative as possible, so Loki didn't finish his retort.
"What questions did you have for me?" Loki asked.
"For starters, why did you invade Nidavellir?" The councilman asked.
"I already told Thor. I was after Stormbreaker" he told them.
"And what exactly is that?" He asked.
"It's a weapon. It's similar to mjolnir but better. I don't even know if it's real, it's just something I heard about and I wanted to get my hands on it. But I didn't, so it's irrelevant" he told them.
They continued to ask him questions that were mostly about his attack in Nidavellir, and since it was a failure, he didn't mind being forthcoming with answers. He told them that his team was either dead or had escaped and was in hiding, he explained that over the last there years he'd been trying to cultivate as much power as possible, and he told them several times that all of these questions were foolish since it was all rendered useless when he was captured.
"Fine, then we'll ask more personal questions.  Did you murder the king?" Loki was surprised by the question, he wasn't sure what to do with it, and he certainly wasn't happy about the notion of them asking him personal questions. He should've just stayed quiet.
"I think that's the king right there" Loki said back sarcastically, nodding to Thor.
"Loki come on, this is serious" Thor said, if Loki got out of line even a little bit he'd blow his chances of gaining the councils favor.
"I thought the point of this interrogation was to get currently useful information out of me, why ask me about Odin?" Loki asked.
"Just answer the question; did you kill Odin?" the councilman said.
"No" Loki finally said
"Did you want to?"
"Of course I did I hated him, but he died before I got the chance. I've done a lot against Asgard but I never assassinated the king" he told them, getting annoyed at their pointless questions that they clearly just wanted to use to make Thor hate him again.
"How about the queen? Did you kill her too?".
Loki tightened his fists, trying to remind himself that he was chained down and couldn't attack anyone even if he tried.
"That's enough. We all know Loki was in prison when our mother died, if you're just going to try and set him off then I'll call the questioning to a close" Thor said, hoping that Loki would be able to stay calm long enough to get through this session.
"I've already answered all your questions about my goal with the invasion; I was after a weapon and I failed to get it, my team is either dead or in hiding, and the surviving dwarves will be back on Nidavellir soon I'm sure. I'm cooperating, which is hard for me, so I don't understand the point of these jibes" Loki said defensively. It was really hard to do the right thing when everyone was sitting there trying to push him to snap.
"Yes, you're right, you have Answered. But I find it hard to believe that anything you've said today is true. Why should I trust you? why are you suddenly so helpful?" The councilman challenged.
"I don't know, maybe I'm just in a good mood today" Loki said back sarcastically.
"Oh please, don't insult my intelligence. You think I'll trust you?" The councilman retorted. He didn't want to give Loki the benefit of the doubt in any way, to him Loki was nothing but evil.
"I came here voluntarily, as hard as this may be for you to believe, I don't actually enjoy having this many enemies. I'm trying to cooperate and I don't understand you're need to attack me" Loki snapped, getting angrier every second.
"I'm trying to figure out exactly who I'm dealing with. Anger tends to show a persons true colors" The councilman told him.
"You're dealing with someone who has spent most of his life seething in bitterness a feelings of inferiority. That's who you're dealing with. Yes, I'm volatile, and chaotic, and a notorious liar. I have done horrible things around the realms and I expect to pay for them, But right here, right now I'm trying to do something right. I wanted to do just this one thing right and you're sitting there trying to make that impossible!" Loki finally snapped. There was silence for a moment. No one had really been expecting loki to sum himself up, or admit that he needed to pay for what he'd done, but there it was.
"I say we give him a chance" the silence was broken by one of the other council members. Everyone turned to him.
"What did you say?" Thor was pleasantly surprised that someone on the council was finally agreeing with him.
"Give him a chance. I think we all remember when Loki was not only a prince of Asgard, but a war hero. These last few years he's obviously gone down a twisted road, but most of his life has been spent actually serving Asgard. I can personally remember a few times loki came back half dead because he refused to betray his home. I don't think we should just forget the good he's done in the past, and clearly he wants to make right. I say we let him try"
Loki was dumbfounded. He kept looking between Thor and the councilman. He wasn't expecting anyone else to stick up for him, so he wasn't sure how to react.
"How do you suggest we do that?" Thor asked.
"We'll there's the memorial coming up in a Few weeks, have Loki attend. It can be his reintroduction to society. we can keep him guarded, but we'll be able to see how he does with other people" the councilman suggested. Thor seemed to think it was a good idea, but Loki didn't know what memorial they were talking about.
"What memorial?" Loki asked after Thor nodded his approval and they all started to get up like the meeting was over.
"Odin's memorial.  We've had one every year since he died as a way to commemorate his life. And now you'll get to come" The councilman said before walking out, leaving Loki to realize that he was being forced to attend a memorial for the one person he hated the most.