Shadows and Lies

Chapter 21

"You know you make my job very difficult when you keep getting beat up like this" Katarina told loki while she cleaned and covered the burn on his side.
"It's not like I asked to be attacked at the party. And it's not my fault burns are easy to agitate" he was clearly in a lot of pain and her talking wasn't helping any. It was hard enough not to move while she cleaned a burn, he didn't need her distracting him.
"I'm almost finished" she said, more in response to his pained tone than his actual words. Finally she got the burn cleaned and dressed properly and let him lay back down.
"What else hurts?" She asked. most of his visible wounds were healing up nicely, the cuts and scrapes had healed a long time ago, his arm was back to normal use, his shin that had been shattered in the explosion was still not fully healed, but it was getting there. The only big things she was worried about where his busted ribs that had been damaged over again at the celebration, and of course his broken femur which would obviously take much longer to heal than the other wounds.
"Everything" he was obviously very tense and uncomfortable, which she thought was strange because he'd been getting better pretty steadily, but now he seemed worse.
"Why? What changed?" She asked him.
"I stopped taking the pain medication" he told he casually. She stopped what she was doing and gave him a baffled look.
"Well then of course you're in pain. Why would you do that?" She went to his desk where she'd put the medical supplies and started to fill a syringe.
"Because as soon as I'm back up to health I'm going to be executed, so I just won't let myself get back up to health" she turned to him and gave him another 'you're crazy' look.
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You'll still heal, it'll just be a more painful process. At best you're just delaying the inevitable and putting yourself through a long time of misery" she walked back and sat by him. "Besides, it's not an execution" It was Loki's turn to put on the 'you're crazy' face.
"Did Thor not explain to you what's going to happen?" She nodded.
"A little bit, he didn't go over the details-" Loki cut her off.
"I'm going to be bound to a post in the middle of the city for three days and the people get to come and punish me however they see fit. For three days. This is the easiest way to stage an accidental execution, how can you not see that?" Katarina was quiet for a second before she spoke again.
"I do see that. And yes I think people will try to kill you. But the king won't allow it. He said specifically that you weren't going to be executed" she argued.
"Yeah, that's what he says."

"And you don't believe him?"

"I believe he'll try, but I'm not naive enough to think I'll actually make it back into the world. One way or another I'll be gotten rid of."
his words seemed to hit hard. He was talking about more than a physical execution, the people would never accept him so even if he doesn't actually die he'd just be locked up somewhere, which (for him) was just as bad.
"None of us know the future. What I do know is that you need to take your prescribed medication like I tell you so that you aren't sitting here in pain" she flicked the syringe she had in her hand and wiped off a spot on his arm.
"Hey what are you doing?" Loki pulled his arm away.
"Easing your pain. The capsules won't work fast enough so I'm giving you an injection. Don't be a child about it" she forced his arm back and stuck him with the needle and Injected him with the drug before he could protest.
"Why do you need it to work faster?" He sat up a bit when she took the syringe out of his arm so she couldn't hit him with anymore surprise attacks.
"Because we're going for a walk. Right now" she told him. He looked confused.
"I convinced Thor that you needed some sun and fresh air, so he said I could take you for a walk. I'm getting you out of this room and Into some daylight. You're welcome" she waved for him to get up and then threw his shirt back at him.
"Why would you do that?" He asked as he got dressed.
"Because you need some air, and some sunlight, you've been kept in here for a while now. You'll go crazy if you don't get a change of scenery" she told him.
"Yes I know the outcomes of confinement, I was in a prison cell for a long time. I'm asking why you would do that for me, why do you care? Your job is only to keep me alive, not happy" she smiled a bit.
"Because you're not that bad, and I don't want you to go crazy. Come on, we have to be back by the end of the day and we're wasting time talking here" loki didn't have much else to add, he didn't know why she would want to help him, he'd been nothing but a headache to her so far.
Loki put his shirt back on, and by now the pain he was feeling was subsiding a bit and he was able to get up and walk without wanting to die.
"Sorry, but this was part of the deal" Katarina had taken Loki out of his room, and for a minute he thought he'd be able to enjoy a bit of peace, but then she took out a set of bulky handcuffs and locked them around his wrists.
"And here I thought I was catching a break" he muttered with a sigh.
"You wish" he heard one of the guards snap at him from behind, loki turned around to see the guard holding up the zap-switch.
"I'll be giving this to Katarina, so Don't even think abut trying to escape, she might be nice to you but she's under orders to stop you from running by any means necessary" loki laughed a bit.
"I think by now if my plan was to escape I would've done it already." He was clearly not taking their warning seriously,  mostly because he thought it was amusing how paranoid they all still were even though he'd proven several times by now that his plans had changed and he wasn't trying to get away.
"Don't be smart" the guard said in annoyance, and gave loki a quick shock just to be mean.
Loki got mad and made a fist and took a step forward to punch the guard but Katarina grabbed his arm before he could actually attack.
"Loki come on, calm down" he was still mad but Katarina moved between him and the guard and he didn't try to throw any more punches.
Katarina turned to the guard.
"Can we go now or do you have more to say?" She was annoyed that he was trying to Instigate a fight with Loki.
"You can go. But if he's not back-" Katarina cut him off.
"yes I talked to the king, I know when we has to be back" she grabbed Loki's arm and made him follow her outside the palace. At first he thought she'd just take him to the gardens or the courtyard for a few minutes, but she started to head toward the gates of the palace grounds and he realized she was taking him into the city.
"What are you doing? Where are you taking me?" Katarina opened the gates and they left the palace grounds.
"Just follow me, Alright?" Loki followed, but he was alert and on edge. They were in the city and he was walking through the people who wanted him dead or beaten or both. He wasn't so sure they weren't going to start attacking him, and Katarina wouldn't be able to hold everyone off if they all attacked at once.
"Relax Loki, they'll have their chance to hurt you in a few days, no one is going to start a fight and risk getting arrested" she assured him, but he wasn't very comforted. He still felt vulnerable and he had no magic and his hands were shackled together so he wouldn't be able to fight.
As they walked he tried to relax like she said, but it was difficult to do that when he knew everyone they past wanted to see him dead. Finally after a while they got to the edge of the city and Loki was able to actually relax as they put more space between them and the busyness of the city.
"So Tell me something about yourself" Katarina said a bit unexpectedly.
"Excuse me?" Loki wasn't much into sharing about himself.
"I barely know you. Tell me something about yourself".
Loki just looked at her blankly.
"No thank you" he finally said after a moment of pause.
"Why not? Why don't you want people to get to know you?" She asked.
"I just don't. Is Thor making you ask me stuff? Is he trying to get inside my head?" He was suddenly a bit more defensive, like he was in an interrogation. 
"Would it make a difference if he was?"

"I don't know, maybe. Is that what's going on?" He asked again.
"No. I'm asking because I just want to know you" she told him with a shrug.
"You already know me."
"Not really. I know what crimes you've committed and I know what injuries you have, but I don't know you. she explained to him. He paused for a minute, thinking if he wanted to talk to her.
"Why should I tell you more about me? It just makes it easier for you to take advantage of me or manipulate me" he snapped at her. She honestly felt bad for him, he never let anyone in, he must've been so lonely.
"I wouldn't do that, I'm your friend" she told him.
"You're not my friend. I don't have friends." His time was cold, liked he'd said that sentence a thousand times.
"Yes you do. I'm your friend whether you like it or not. And Thor is your friend"
"Thor is my brother, not my friend"
"A brother can be a friend. But then you still want to pretend you hate Thor, don't you?"
Loki was quiet for a minute.
"I don't hate Thor anymore" he said quietly, like he almost didn't want her to hear him.
"Does he know that?" She was excited to get him talking and opening up.
"I don't see how that's any business of yours, but yes, he does"
"That's good. It wasn't that long ago that you were cursing his name and taking every chance to escape"
Loki was quiet for a minute, and Katarina took the opportunity to change the subject so he couldn't come up with some kind of a defense.
"How does your leg feel?" She asked. He took a few more steps so he could pay attention to it.
"It's starting to ache" he told her. She pointed to the ground.
"Sit".
Loki sat down and tried to keep his leg straight so it could stop hurting so much.
"So what will you do if Thor decides to put you back in a cell?" Katarina asked after they'd sat down and she gave him something to eat from the bag she brought.
"I'm not sure, I've just been hoping it doesn't end that way" he told her, avoiding actually looking at her.
"You've been talking about dying, you've come to grips with being murdered, but you haven't come to grips with possibly going back to jail?" Loki stayed silent for a few minutes and just ate a bit of the food she brought.
"I've been in our prisons before. I've been alone in that cell, totally isolated, thinking I'd never get out... I remember a few times thinking that I'd rather just be executed to end the monotony, to end the feeling of slowly going insane form lack of change. I don't think I could go back there again" he confessed. He hadn't even taken time to think about that possibility, he didn't want to think about going back there.
"But... you know it's a possibility right?".
He nodded, looking over to her for the first time.
"I know, but I have a feeling thor won't do that to me" he told her.
"You think he'll let you be executed instead?". Surprisingly, Loki nodded.
"I think he knows that I'd rather die than go back. and on top of that he doesn't want to be like father. He won't put me in a Cage again." Katarina was quiet now, and then just put a hand on his shoulder.
"I hope it doesn't go that far" she told him.
"Why does it make any difference to you?" He asked. She rolled her eyes at him.
"You're so dense sometimes. Loki, I'm your friend, I care about you. You're not alone in the world anymore, you have some people that will fight for you. Get used to it".
Loki ate a bit more food before he spoke.
"I'm not the best at trusting people" he told her after a few minutes. She smiled like she'd achieved something.
"Why are you grinning like that?" He didn't like not knowing what she was thinking.
"You told me something about yourself. I'm getting to know you after all"