Survival of the Unfit

Chapter 16

Levi

One, I am a stupid, awful fuck. Course everyone already knows that, but it would’ve been helpful to tell me not to ditch my date for a fight with nothing but a switchblade, and give the competition my phone number as offered help. But that was the right thing to do! No. No, it was a downright stupid thing to do because I almost died. But April saved your life! Yeah, I know, stop rubbing it in.

Man, she was really cool. Seeing her get out that gun in record time, not even remotely scared of the guy, dressed in all black with a machete sheath at her side, leather jacket, kickass shoes for kicking ass, god she was just really cool. Her mint-colored eyes were vicious in that moment, like venom instead of cotton candy. The stare could make your blood curdle and then inject it with sugar at the same time.

But back to me being stupid, I am very stupid, and I was right about dealing with Casey afterwards being worse than almost dying. I walked out of the brush and back towards the beach, finding no sign of her anywhere, and most especially, no sign of my car. Basically she dropped it off at my house and left a big old “Fuck you!” written in the sand, and I had to walk all the way back home, only to find she left a very angry letter on a napkin in the car. “You ditch me, I ditch you,” it said. “We can talk when you get some common sense.” Signed “Casey, your GIRLFRIEND”. She also left a p.s. that said, “I took your gum in the center console too.” That pissed me off rather sincerely. No one touches my gum.

Yet, it didn’t suck as much as walking back home in shame, without a car, still in stuffy night clothes. I untucked my shirt again and completely untied my tie, hands in pockets as I walked along the road towards home while kicking pebbles all the way. It’d be a thirty minute walk from where I was, taking the route to avoid all of town. I knew I screwed up and was still pretty sore, and the Southern Carolina heat was never my favorite. I wanted to go somewhere cool, like Denver or New York City. Just somewhere that wasn’t so warm all the time, where I could actually feel snow and cold rain, not the gross thunderstorm rain that often falls. Speak of the devil, a raindrop splashed onto my face after the very thought.

I let my brain comprehend the thought of April Swanson as the rain came down in a gentle yet unforgiving drizzle. She was…odd. A truly odd character whose intentions I couldn’t quite make out. Part psychopathic grief coping methods, part good intentions with lack of closure. Weekend baker (as I had learned from another chat with Hailey), nighttime crime fighter. Living a true double life. I smiled, remembering her embarrassment when I said I liked my shirt on her. She was so naïve for a badass.

But Casey. Casey Lamoureaux I’ve known since sophomore year, have had the wonderful privilege of knowing. Of loving. I couldn’t just leave-oh. I mean, she just left me.

I shook my head around, feeling my hair stick to my forehead, the two seconds of combing going to waste. I ran a hand through it, popped my collar up, and continued home. Small puddles started to form as I walked along, turning right. I had a lot of thinking time, but didn’t want to think anymore. Not about school, not about April, and sure as hell not about Casey. I fucked up again. I fucked up royally.

Why couldn’t I just do things right? Why did I have to have this stupid god complex embedded into my brain now? April had been on her way, I should’ve known that. It was a damn Valentine’s date with a beautiful girl I rarely had the chance of touching nowadays. And not even sexually, just her brushing her hand or playfully punching her thigh, or her wavy red hair. The thought came out of nowhere: was I even in love with her anymore?

I pushed it away as soon as it came, as overthinking always surfaces the worst of thoughts. And because I was overthinking, it came back again. Undoubtedly what she had done was a shitty thing to do. It was dick move. I would never abandon someone like that, considering I ditched her to go save a life.