Bipolar Liar

Chapter 1

'OK' is one chapter from a self written series called 'I'm Fine'. This will contain triggering and/or self inflicted pain.

Read with caution.

>ᗯᗴᗴᏦ 1⃣

  ᔑᎢᏆᏞᏞ ᗩ ᏞᏆᎢᎢᏞᗴ ᔑᝪᖇᗴ. ᗰᏆᏀᕼᎢ ᎢᗩᏦᗴ ᔑᝪᗰᗴ ᎢᏆᗰᗴ ᏀᗴᎢᎢᏆᑎᏀ ᑌᔑᗴᗞ Ꭲᝪ Ꭲᕼᗴ ᑎᗴᗯ ᔑᎢᑌᗞᗴᑎᎢ. Ꮖ ᔑᎢᏆᏞᏞ ᖴᗴᗴᏞ ᏞᏆᏦᗴ ᖴᗩᏞᏞᏆᑎᏀ ᗞᝪᗯᑎ ᗩ ᗷᖇᏆᗞᏀᗴ. ᏦᏆᔑᔑᗴᗞ ᗰᎩ ᑕᗩᎢ ᎢᝪᗞᗩᎩ. Ꮖ ᗯᏆᔑᕼ Ꮖ ᗯᗩᔑᑎ'Ꭲ ᕼᗴᖇᗴ. Ꮖ ᔑᗩᗯ ᗩᑎ ᗩᗞ ᗩᗷᝪᑌᎢ ᏞᏆᐯᏆᑎᏀ Ꭹᝪᑌᖇ ᗷᗴᔑᎢ ᏞᏆᖴᗴ, Ꮖ ᗞᝪᑎ'Ꭲ ᗯᗩᑎᎢ Ꭲᝪ ᏞᏆᐯᗴ ᗩᎢ Ꭲᕼᗴ ᗰᝪᗰᗴᑎᎢ ᎢᕼᝪᑌᏀᕼ?? ᗰᎩ ᗞᝪᏀ ᗩᖇᏀᑌᗴᗞ ᗯᏆᎢᕼ ᗰᎩ ᑕᗩᎢ ᗩᏀᗩᏆᑎ. 

Mom: "feeling better today?"
Me: no… "of course"
Mom: "good, let's go now shall we?"
Me: please, I don't want to "alright"

I don't feel well. I never felt well. Ever since I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Didn't tell anyone though. Ever though mom kept on telling me to so they could be more careful with me. I don't want to be fragile. I'm a 9th grader, we're a couple of teens. I'm sure they could handle some mood swings ever so often. We drove there by car. Dad's car. He lived with my other mom. This mom isn't even my real one, the real one got cancer and died early. Dad didn't really love her though - it was forced marriage. I was a forced to be made child. I was forced to exist. How funny.

Me: "don't call me"
Mom: "I know sweetie. Bye"
Me: *waves my hand at her* "bye"

I walked in. Met my friends inside. Only one of them had some ideas about my mental disorder though. It was only an assumption for now. I never answered his questions after all. I just want to think that I'm normal. That I don't have any mental disorders. That I'm not forced to breathe. It is good to imagine things. It makes me feel better about myself. I hope i'll die soon.

I feel off today as well. My friends are my only family, my second mom won't worry about me. I am weak. My brain can't catch up. Not into sports like most boys, I rather walk my pets. I don't want to be touched by people I just met or strangers. I'm uneasy looking at myself in the mirror. I used toothpick to make small wounds on my skin. Somewhere hidden. My mom won't let me buy a paper cutter.

Me: "any homeworks?"
Art(short for Arthur): "nothing much, just simple maths is all"
Me: "where are the other's?"
Art: *chuckles* "somewhere. Probably smoking again"
Me: hmm…

Art was a good friend. A nice one. A little goofy at times but that relaxes me. I don't have to meet his expectations. He wore huge, black, round glasses and usually uses this red lined black sweaters everyday. He told me it was a gift from his twin. His twin died a few months back though. He got shot. His twin was a criminal for bombing the bank. Well, accused to be one of the criminals. Art couldn't attend his twin's funeral since they looked alike.

Me: "hey Art, wanna hang at the house again?"
Art: "im totally down, but my parents asked me to help them out today so"
Me: what helping out? Your parents are overseas though? "Oh. Did they come back?"
Art: "haha, not really? I'm unsure if I should tell you" *rubs wrist anxiously*
Me: "go do what you want then. It's fine probably. I don't think Zen would mind" he would.

Art gave me a grateful smile and proceeds to his seat. That dork. I waited patiently for the new student today. The student sat next to me since the girl he was supposed to seat with didn't want to sit near boys. Such a childish thought to have honestly. I've never had a seat buddy since 2th grade. Because they claimed that I seemed odd. And also because I can't control my bipolarity well back then. Hopefully this time I'll be fine. I'll be normal. The student came in the class. Looking cheery first thing in the morning. Must be a school lover. Annoying.