Broken Angel (TMI Fanfic)

Prologue-A better tomorrow

Clary's POV:

I used to think that love was easy; oh how wrong I was because what you put me through changed everything. The idyllic impression was shattered; like a reflection in a broken mirror. Love is hell and your the devil and I'm burning in the flames.

I saw you kiss her today and I fell in love. I fell in love the way you kissed her. Your big strong hands holding her small ones. Your arms strapped around her thin waist oh-so-tightly as if she was as fragile as glass and you didn't want anything to break her. You held her like she was yours, like she's precious to you. Your lips touched hers lightly as if it wasn't a kiss at all but it was desperate enough to be one.

Does that make sense?

You kissed her with a sense of urgency, but not too rough for fear you would break her fragile glass lips.

Your tan hand ran through her shiny blonde hair sliding down her neck and then down her red rosy cheeks.

How you held her heart-shaped face to yours with care. How you looked at her with your sunlight gold eyes like you were trying to express your undying love.

The club was packed with people swaying and dancing to the music. Nodding their heads and banging their fist in the air. You stood out though, you were golden. Like sunlight shining through the darkest parts of the ocean.

I hate to admit but you looked good with her. You and her clashed in a good way. Her blonde locks matching with your own. You were tangled together and in a embrace that looks like you were meant to be. Your souls intertwined with each other like you were lovers from the past. I was jealous but accepting.

I took in a shaky breath and walked over to you. You were still kissing her, oblivious. I tapped your broad shoulder lightly. You turned around an annoyed expression clear on your face. Your eyes immediately softened when you saw me and then turned to complete horror.

"Clary..." you said in a hushed voice.

"Hey Jace", I said weakly, handing him his angel blade that he asked me to pick up for him.

The was a long pause until the blond girl looked at me and asked,"what the hell is happening?"

My mouth went dry. What was he supposed to say? I was to hurt and she was about to be hurt too. I felt bile rising in my throat and I looked at Jace and he looked at me and we had the same question: Who is going to speak first. The silence is almost demanding as if it wanted need to break. I took a big sigh and I looked at the brunette girl. Her hair was matted with sweat and she looked worried and annoyed. And a very harsh voice it sounded very broken to my ears I said,"i'm his girlfriend Clarissa"

The brunette girl looked in complete shock. She was opening and closing her mouth. I gave her a feeble smile at her and then turned to you. "I have to meet Simon at the book store." It was a lame excuse and a lie but I had to get out of there. On the outside I looked fine almost okay but in the inside I was all shattered.

I turned around and left the club; I was almost outside when a golden arm caught my freckled wrist. I turned around only to see you.

"Clary" you breathed.

"I have to meet Simon at the book store. I-I'm late already." My voice cracked at the end while I was trying to yank my wrist from your iron grip.

"Clary! P-please I'm so sorry! I'm drunk! It meant nothing, I swear!" I knew you weren't drunk, for I've seen you drunk. But nevertheless I smiled and nodded and told you that I believe you.

"I'll see you at the Institute" I said while giving a rough yank; making my arm free from its restraints.

I started to slowly walked out of the club leaving Jace in the noisy room. There's a lump in my throat and I wanted to sob, but I had to be strong. I walk slowly until I got to the corner of the building and took a left. My body couldn't take it so I just ran. Crying and running it's a very hard thing to do. When you cry so much feels like your lungs are out of air you're almost suffocating yourself. But that's what I felt like-Not in a romantic love you type Way but in a I'm trying to kill you type away. It's feels as if it's strong sturdy hands are wrapped around my throat!

my feet finally took me to the Institute. It change, being there like was strange,it wasn't my home anymore. And the thoughts flooded back to me as I took the elevator upstairs to my room. How was I supposed to forgive them? Or confront him? I didn't have the strength. My only option was to leave. Get away. I need to love something other than a man. I needed love me.

It was weird. Love I mean. Because when you fall in love its a temporary madness. It erupts like a earthquake and the it subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever be apart. Because that is what love is. Love is not breathless, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the damn day. It is not laying awake imagining him kissing every part of your body. All those things are just the being of love, not actual love. Love itself is what's left over, when being in love has burned away.

I took a breath, and I drew a room on the wall to take me somewhere else. Somewhere rainy, somewhere where I could taste teen right now, and dance in the rain. The portal I drew came to life. It illuminated my room with dark blues and oranges and for the first time I was afraid to step through. I didn't want to leave I would miss Simon and my friends and even though I hate to minute I would miss Jace. But it didn't matter now, I needed to do what I need to do. I took a deep breath like the tears off my rosy cheeks and stepped into the portal hoping to lead it to someone hopeful.