The College Professor

Chapter 05

I had tried so hard to not over eat. The little belly that had developed ever since I had split form my former boyfriend, probably due to an excessive amount of alcohol and hangover food, was feeling tight and round as I put the boxes of food on my desk. Still wearing the robe I sat back down with Sebastian who was staring out the window into the dark.

"What are you thinking?" I asked but he didn't move. Maybe he was so far away he didn't even hear me.

Was it back to how it was before today? Playing games, flirting and being nervous about the responses. I didn't like the idea of having to pretend that I didn't know all these things about him now.

Because I knew things! I had noticed how he had squirmed whenever I had moved my hips in a certain way, which parts of my body he had touched most, how he liked to be kissed. And yet, I knew nothing about him. Not where he came from, nothing about his past life with his ex-wife, not about his plans for the future. I knew how he liked to flirt, kiss and have sex - those were the things that I knew about him. I knew as much about the guy Penelope had dated during the summer and I had never met the guy.

"Tell me something personal, something nobody else knows about you" I demanded. Sitting back down on the edge of my bed, looking hideous in that red robe, without make up and with my hair up in a messy bun.

Sebastian was still staring into the darkness and I felt so empty all of a sudden. He had asked to stay the night, kind of, he had made me laugh while we had been eating and he had asked me so many questions about my interests.

"Come here" he suddenly said, moved over to lean against the headboard.

The strong will he had observed, it wasn't there anymore. All I wanted was for him to hold me and like me. As I sat next to him he turned the light on my night stand off, opened my robe and slid his hands over my legs as he sat on his knees in front of me.

I didn't feel good about myself in that moment, I had eaten way to much and it resulted in me feeling uncomfortable with myself. Pulling my knees up to my chest I crossed my arms over them and rested my head on them.

"Tell me something, please" I asked him once more and he nodded. He lied down on his back. And then he reached over to me with his one hand, putting it right on mine and I held it with both my hands, kissed his palm and rested my cheek on it. "Please" I said again and he sighed.

"I talked to my ex-wife last week. We talk from time to time, not with any regularity, just whenever one of us needs to talk to someone about something. After all, we had been married for almost five years. And we didn't split because we hated each other, it just stopped working and we realized that we acted like friends more than partners.

"I told her about this girl I liked, I omitted the fact that she is a student of mine but she knew either way. And she just asked the right questions. She said in other words but along the lines of, you either end it now or go all the way."

"And you decided to do the latter?" I asked, increasingly enjoying the warmth of his hand against my face.

"No, the opposite. She told me that I would go all in but I was determined to just stop things. And I felt that she didn't understand me, that we had lost touch somehow. It's the weirdest thing, we had so easily continued our relationship on that plationic level. Now however, even though she obviously knows me better than I know myself, I feel like I'm finally beginning a new chapter in my life."

"And what are you trying to tell me?"

"That I have an idea for a new book."

Okay. Did he really consider making this between us into a book? And add his relationship to his ex-wife into the mix? The book, well, I'd read it and I was sure that it was going to be fantastic.