My name is Yushiro Tahara, and I was the Beastmaster of the Starlight Circus.
I say “was”, not because I no longer hold the position - at least, I don’t know that I was terminated. No, I say “was” because when last I saw it, every tent of the Starlight Circus was burning. It is permanently etched into my mind--the sounds of my friends and family screaming, the stink of burning tents, burning supplies, burning people. The flashing shadows of people fleeing. If the Starlight Circus still exists, I would rejoin them, given the chance, and I have little doubt they would take me back-- despite my flaws, my mistakes and vices.
Sadly, I know I will never see them again in this life. My time is too short. So, stranger, I am writing this to ask-- you who has found my tomb, such as it is, this little, stone-walled and thatched-roof hut, lost deep in this forsaken wilderness of snow and ice, please… Please, for the sake of love and family, for peace of mind, understanding, forgiveness, and possibly redemption, please find the Starlight Circus, find my family and give them this letter. I wish for them to know what has befallen me, and how it came to pass.
To My Friends, my Loves, the only Family I have known,
Our dragon Shessmyr has fooled us all, and I accept the fault as my own. What we had thought were secure bonds and magic to block his own ability turns out to have been a great lie. To what end, I do not know, for who can see into the heart of a dragon? I pray that Shessmyr’s plans and goals lie far from the future of the Starlight Circus.
Suffice it to say, all the years he played the part of our pet, our captive, an attraction that made our circus unique must have been part of this grand deception. Long ago he must have dispelled our protective enchantments, and hidden those changes behind his own glamers. So well crafted were these illusions that not even our esteemed Mistress Lawan could detect the deception. All Shessmyr needed to do was simply stretch his wings, flex his claws and he would be free of our simple bonds.
Perhaps that is what stayed his hand all these years--knowledge that his captivity was only on his terms, that he could choose to leave at any time. All the while, we labored under the illusion that he belonged to us, when we were actually caring for him. Ah! And what a life it must have been; fresh food provided without having to fight for it, no adventurers out to slay him to save some wayward princess, or rob his treasure. Regular grooming and servants to ensure his scales were as polished as can be. Beasthandlers to ensure he was in good health, with no parasites or diseases and his injuries all taken care of. The only thing he had to tolerate was being put on display for thousands of people, people that stood in awe of his magnificence and beauty, people who learned to respect the power and might of a dragon, and love this rare living wonder of the world. Yes, indeed. A life to be envied, especially now knowing that he could leave whenever he wished.
I blame myself for not checking the enchantments more closely - I suppose I expected Mistress Lawan to keep a closer eye on them. Perhaps she was expecting the same of me, or perhaps Shessmyr’s glamers were too strong for us. It is of little import now, but I told myself I was too busy keeping an eye on that elf Illassen and training the apprentice Beasthandlers. Now, too late, I see those were mistakes as well. Illassen was clever and subtle in his cruelty.The few times I did catch him were minor enough infractions, nothing that would actually harm Shessmyr, so I let him slide. Perhaps he enjoyed wielding that perceived power, or perhaps he just enjoyed cruelty. Now I see the deadly folly of that mistake. I have no doubt it was Illassen that finally drove Shessmyr to break free. I recall it was feeding time on that last day, and I was called away from helping Illassen prepare Shessmyr’s food. Twenty minutes later, Shessmyr broke free of his bonds and my first clue was that fool elf crashing through the tent next to me, knocked unconscious by the mighty blow which had sent him flying. From there, it was gouts of flame and the rumbling voice of Shessmyr as he bellowed his rage.
I suppose this is my penance. Perhaps Shessmyr is trying to teach me a lesson. I remember looking into his glowing amber eyes as he peered down at me, gusts of wind whipping past me as his wings beat at the air keeping him aloft. It is nonetheless difficult to convince myself of his benevolence, as I remember those eyes, so filled with rage and malevolence. He paused to smile at me, and I thought for just a moment that he would leave me alone. But then a flash of green magic, and I found myself tumbling down a steep, rocky hill.
Unprepared as I was, I bounced and rattled my way down, glancing trees and rocks, unable to get my bearings. When I finally rolled to a stop, I blessed my fortune for being lucky enough not to crack my skull open on one of the many boulders or trees. Looking back now, I suppose I might have instead cursed my luck for not finding a quick and sudden end. My leg was shattered and bent, my hands scratched and sprained, a broken arm, a couple cracked ribs… but alive.
I set my leg and arm as best I could, but I knew I would need a cleric to truly heal the damage done.
It took days for me to find a place I could rest and heal, some shelter from the biting cold night air, some water, perchance some food. The stars are unfamiliar to me here, and I have yet to see a living soul that is not some wild creature or dangerous savage. I knew I was in a mountain-lined valley, the sheer rock and jagged peaks telling me that only an accomplished mountain climber or adventurer would ever dare the treacherous summits.
Once I healed enough to walk, I discovered I was too crippled to climb, and too weak to gather supplies to escape this accursed valley. I was instantly a prisoner, from the moment Shessmyr sent me here, the only hope I had was for someone to find me and free me from this mountain prison. I found this little hut, abandoned and alone in this empty valley, and hoped to pass the winter here, but it is not to be. I have burned the last of what wood I could gather, and it has been days since I have eaten. All this time alone has allowed me to see that it was my own arrogance that killed me, and in my most tortured imaginings, I count the friends and family that have suffered and died due to my hubris.
Please, stranger, take this letter to the Starlight Circus. Take it to my family. Let them know I have died, cold and alone, a victim of my own failure in this freezing, forsaken corner of the world that I can only think of as Hell. I have died hoping for their forgiveness. And of course, should you ever meet the red dragon Shessmyr, convey my deepest apologies, and tell him the lesson he wished to teach me was learned.
--Yushiro Tahara
Fool and Former Beastmaster of the Starlight Circus
