how you get the boy

twenty six

Two days before summer break started and before everyone went home, I realised that I might be going mental.

I'd realised it a few weeks ago, but I had blamed it on the amount of stress I was put under due to finals. Unfortunately, I still felt the same way even after the weight had been lifted and the dark clouds that had been lingering on the top of my head had left me alone.

That's when I realised that there's more to this nagging feeling that clung to my bones. And I didn't know whether it's good or bad that it had everything to do with Harry and how, out of the blue, I was becoming hyper aware of everything he did despite having dated him for over a month.

I was suddenly aware that we would be apart after this. I might not be able to see him that often anymore and that this honeymoon phase we're having – I refused to call it a 'phase' at first, but then again, it shouldn't be a surprise because I was in denial about lots of things – would end. I might not be able to kiss him every day, to see him smile at me when I got home, to feel his arms wrapped around my waist after a long, gruelling day and to feel his lips pressed against my skin.

I supposed that's why I began to cherish every little moment we had. I began appreciating even the littlest things about us that I didn't realise before.

Like how his fingers always traced circles on my shoulder when we're with our friends or when we're alone as though he's trying to tell me something. Or how his green eyes seemed to burn brighter when he's showing me things that he loved. Or how he always knew what to say or do as soon as he noticed that something's wrong. Or how tentative his touches were, like he loved every inch of me – every flaw, every blemish, every scar – all that were nothing but perfection in his eyes.

He made me feel loved. And oh, how I loved him back in return.

Speaking of love, neither of us had said those three words to each other yet nor had we ever talked about it. Alas, that didn't mean I couldn't feel it in my veins, because I could I could I could. Could feel it when my heart beat each time I caught sight of him, each time he smiled at me, each time our skin brushed. I could feel it almost all the time and I wanted nothing more than to scream at the top of my lungs so he would know. So everyone would know.

But the thing was, I was scared.

Scared that we were moving too fast, scared that when I did say it, it wouldn't leave the intended effect – not that I knew what it would be anyway. I was scared that if I were to say those three words, Harry wouldn't say it back even though according to Shiloh that was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever thought of.

"Of course he loves you," she had said with a scoff, "Even a blind man would know that!"

Regardless the vote of confidence, I still couldn't get rid of the fear that had planted its root in me. And to make myself feel better, I kept saying that I was just waiting for the right time, the right place.

"Bunny," Harry's soft voice pulled me from my train of thoughts, "You okay?"

He had a concerned look written all over his face as he looked at me. I smiled at him, "Yeah, I'm great."

"Tee's probably just daydreaming 'bout you, mate," Niall interrupted, reminding me that we weren't alone in Harry's kitchen and it hadn't been that way for days.

Ever since his lease was up three days ago, he'd been staying here because it's the first available place that popped into his mind. He didn't want to sign another lease with his previous landlord as he had decided to live somewhere else, preferably somewhere closer to us – I could only pray that he would change his mind.