The Funnies

For Procrastinator Pete's Sake

The conference room where the Ray Weekly staff held their Monday meetings was set up with a large circular table. The important people got seats. I stood against the wall with the rest of the freshman and the reject upperclassmen who couldn't make it into editor positions. My sweaty fingers drummed against the metal spiral of my sketchbook.

In the two seats in front of me, Martina and Skyler were talking back and forth. As usual, they didn't greet me when they saw me come in. I paid no attention and instead sent a text to Luisa. It was dark out by now and my stomach was in knots at the thought of her walking across campus alone—from what she told me, Damon was a maniac, and I was pretty sure the schools "no contact order" that was sent via email wasn't going to stop him from going after her. Hopefully DJ was walking with her, like I asked him to.

"Okay, I'm here. We can finally get started!" said Professor Calvin, the advisor, as he shuffled in and sat down at the head of the table.

The meeting went on as it normally did. Each section talked about their ideas and the random things going on around campus, which wasn't much, because nothing ever happened at Bayside U—that the staff would want its students to know about.

Once we made our rounds, Professor Calvin said a few words, told a few jokes, and the sections were left to their own devices. As the one and only artist of the half a page funnies section, they lumped me in with opinion. Me and four other kids stood around Martina and Skyler as the opinion editor and assistant editor sat back, eyeing us like kings watching their peasants. They threw most of their attention to Emmerson, their golden boy. Don't get me wrong, he was a nice kid and a good writer, but the three others were trying, you know? Give them a little credit once in a while. And for God's sake, at least try and act like I exist.

"And Coco, what do you have for us?" Martina asked, crossing her legs.

At the eyes were on me, and with shaky hands I flipped open to the first page of The Dirty Adventures of Martin Grimes. I tried opening my mouth, but nothing came out. I'd rehearsed this pitch in my head a million times. Public speaking always got the best of me. I cleared my throat. It was like their eyes were burning right through me. And then I thought of Luisa.

"So I've been working a lot over the winter break. I came up with a new character." I turned the notebook around so Martina and Skyler could see. "I'm not much of an emotional person, but I wanted to do something that really hit me personally. One of my best friends here was raped and the school basically handled it like shit. The guy got off scot free and the whole thing was totally wrong. So, I give you Martin Grimes—a conduct supervisor who stops at nothing to make his school look good."

I forced a smile and waited for their answers. They didn't say a word. Martina looked to Skyler, who was chomping on a pen. The rest of the group was quiet, and my worst nightmare was coming true. I could see it in Martina and Skyler's eyes. I could feel it coming.

"I think that's...um...definitely different from Procrastinator Pete," Martina said.

"But Procrastinator Pete didn't mean anything. This is an actual important issue. This could actually lead to change!" I said.

"I like the concept, but I don't think it works as a comic. Did you do anything with that Procrastinator Pete idea I emailed you about?" Skyler asked.

"Well, yeah, I drew a few panels but—"

"Oh, let's see it!" Martina said.

I blinked my eyes a few times at them and just kind of stood there. Was that it? No...no...there's no way. My free hand curled into a tight fist. I had nothing except for these comics. There was no other way I'd be able to get justice for the greatest friend I'd ever had. I wasn't going to let her down. Not like this.

"I'd really like to do the other comic," I said.

"Look, the faster you show us the comic we want to see, the faster we can dismiss this meeting and go home," Martina said.

"I second that," Skyler said. "Look, Dakota—"

"Coco."

"Coco...it's like, too controversial. The funnies aren't supposed to be controversial. People barely read the paper as it is, and the people who do really like Procrastinator Pete—it's lighthearted and it's relatable to students at Bayside U, because literally everyone procrastinates."

I shook my head. "Look, you guys aren't getting it!"

"No, it's you who isn't getting it," Skyler said. "We can't publish something that's controversial like that."

"That's more of a reason why we should," I said, slamming my sketchbook onto the table.

Emmerson and the rest of the group stepped back. Martina rolled her eyes. Things like this were common. Those two hated me because I always called them out on their bullshit. Opinion was the laughing stock of the Ray Weekly, which, to those who actually knew about it, was the laughing stock of the campus. Opinion was nothing more than a section of parody articles and one-sided political news.

"Look, we've been over this," Martina said. "If you don't want to draw what we ask, you won't be drawing for us at all."

I held my tongue. This was literally the only campus activity I was involved in. My resume was already a dumpster fire. I didn't need kerosene poured onto it. I sighed and nodded, then started flipping to the Procrastinator Pete strips I scribbled after lunch.

"Listen, if you can find a way to center is more towards Bayside U and not make it look like a direct shot at the campus conduct system, we could consider it," Skyler said.

I smiled for real that time. It was like the fire in me was reignited. I just needed to work out a few kinks. I turned to Procrastinator Pete: Pirate Perils! and showed it to them.

"So because this Gasparilla parade thing is coming up, I had Pete be completely unprepared," I said, pointing to the first few frames. "Because he didn't check the parade route ahead of time, he ends up with a crappy spot and falls into the bay."

Martina and Skyler let out a few laughs and gave me some dumb suggestions, then finally adjourned the meeting. I walked back to my room, my mind spinning with ways to improve the comic I actually cared about.