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I Want To Die (Sanctum x Reader)

Please, just for one day.

Let me feel excitement in my life.

Let me feel what it's like to live, that's all I ask for.

I miss.. the feeling of touch in general. I hadn't come in contact with a person for weeks, and trying to survive with rampant vampires on the loose has been more than complicated. Nobody around here rememebers what it's like to live in peace anymore. Well, that's based off of the last time I talked to someone, which was far beyond my comprehension.

On this particular travel I'm searching for something I never thought I'd look for.

A way out.

If living is a constant reminder of fear, if the rest of my days would bring nothing but misery.

Then what the hell would I want to live for?

I'm not staying crept up, eating scraps for food or working my ass off just to get a taste of water. That's bullshit.

Gravel crunched under my boots, confidence radiated in every piece of my being. Looking out to my surroundings now I notice only a few other people on their asses. Their frail bones limp, and it dawned on me that those people, too, chose to die rather than live miserably.

They all died by the hands of a vampire.

Would I, too be a victim? Don't shame me, but thinking about it was the first taste of any other emotion besides depression that I got in a long time.

This is what it's like to be alive, huh? This is how it feels to take risks, to put myself out there for the cruel world to devour me.

I yearned for death.

That vampire would show and finally, I'd feel the beating of my heart race until it stopped. Kind of twisted isn't it? But I'd rather die than be a prisoner to fear. Hours passed, the sun set and the sky soaked the world with its heavy, dark, navy blue.

A long walk, this is. Just a stroll on the road of death. Wind howled and whistled against my ears much to my annoyance, the sound had gotten rid of the peaceful crunching of the gravel. I couldn't complain much verbally, the wind would simply have to hear my complaints telepathically.

Dumbass, loud ass, cold ass, obnoxious ass wind.

It fell silent.

Was it a miracle? Did the Earth just listen to my rantings and decide it was time to stop? Victory music played on repeat in my head, it helped put a pep in my step as I continued walking to god-knows-where.

But it was too quiet.

Literally, you know when there's always that background sound that no one knows is really there but it is? That was completely gone, dead, zilch, nada. I turned to look around me, why is it that when there's no sound you expect someone to sneak up on you? It's usual that you'd hear a person nearby, but silence is so deafening.

Shkk.

My heart nearly gave out, and in fact I'm pretty sure I would've full on passed out if I wasn't being held up by my neck. I choked and wheezed, everything was happening so quickly. I hadn't blinked my eyes once and I already had cold icy hands devoid of any warmth whatsoever around my neck.

I had hoped to at least see the vampire before dying.

My eyes began to flutter shut, I gave up on the fight between consciousness and unconsciousness. No need to try so hard, I came out here to die anyway.

"Not so soon." A velvet voice spoke, the tone of it deep, making me think of someone masculine, "I need you alive."

The rough ground slapped me harder than reality.