Night Rain

Tears or Rain?

I forgot to pack a towel. I'm in my underwear and there's no towel in my bag. The feelings I've been repressing all day are threatening to bubble up to the surface. Tears burn my eyes and close up my throat.
"Are you okay?" Ericha is right beside me, freshly showered, her towel wrapped around her.
"I forgot to bring a towel. I forgot the fucking towel."
"But you never forget anything, ever!" Ericha's voice rises an octave. I shake my head.
"I was at... dad's and things are a little... weird there. You know Cloë doesn't like me." At least I told the truth in that last sentence.
"Aw, honey. You can borrow mine, it's damp and all, but at least you've showered." Her kindness has me almost in tears again. Silently I undress and she hands me her towel. I take comfort in the fact that the soap dispensers in the shower will have soap in them. It's fancy smelling soap even, there are fancy soap company heirs attending this school.

Ericha is waiting for me, texting away on her phone and only nods as I hand her the towel back. She shoves it into her bag and shakes her head at something someone is texting her. Even though it took longer than usual for me to take a shower, or actually getting into the shower, we're not the last ones in the locker room. It's Friday and a lot of the girls have plans for the afternoon. Plans that require a lot of makeup and styling of hair.

I don't bother with makeup and just toss my hair up in a damp ponytail. "You think I could stay the night at your place? Cloë was kinda telling me to not come back tonight. I think she can stand me like one night, and then she'd grow a second head or something..." I fake a laugh about my half-lie.
Ericha looks at me with sympathy in her eyes. I feel horrible lying to her. "You know I'd love to have you stay, but mom just told me we're driving to Newport today. Apparently I have 30 minutes to pack my things after I get home. Ugh!" She shakes her head at her impossible mother. And me? I fake another laugh and try to channel the panic settling in my stomach into pity for Ericha who'll be stuck in a small town all weekend. At least I'm staying in the city. There are endless possibilities in the city. And endlessly long nights for someone without a place to sleep.

"What about your mom?" Ericha has stopped texting as we walk towards our bus stops.
"Yeah. We're not really talking right now. I mean, she just doesn't get me. At all. And I think she broke up with Finn, again. That always has her in the worst mood."
"Well, it's not like she kicked you out, right? You could always go back home if Cloë's a bitch. Oh. That's my bus. Love you Kathy!" With a hug she's gone. I smell her perfume after she's hurried off to catch her bus. Marc Jacob's Daisy is clinging to my borrowed jacket like a promise that everything will be alright. Which it won't, because my asshole step-mother convinced my spineless father to ditch me and my bitter mom just wants me to fail, so she can tell me she told me so.

"So. Looks like we're going in the same direction again." Maxwell doesn't really startle me, there are so many people moving about anyway, but I didn't expect him to actually talk to me in public like this.
"Looks like." It's not like I want to be rude or anything, it's just that this is so embarrassing. Before last night he thought I was this, apparently pretty, face at school. Someone he would never really talk to. Now he knows more about me than my best friend and I'm about to go home with him. Fucking fantastic.

There's a chill to the air and I zip the borrowed jacket up, burying my hands deep within its pockets. The clouds haven't let the sun out all day, but they have at least had the decency to not rain on us. It seems as if they are done with playing nice.

There's no place to sit. The bus is so full there isn't even anything for me to hold on to. Men, women and teenagers both more forward and taller than me, have all grabbed the straps, leaving me to simply hold my balance and try not falling over anyone. I'm so focused on my own problems, I don't register that the bus is moving and turning a corner.