Night Rain

One More Night

In Jessica's room I close the door behind me and lean against it. Closing my eyes I picture what would have happened if dad hadn't moved, if he had let me in last night. I wouldn't know that Maxwell loves Nutella, or that he thinks I'm gorgeous. And I wouldn't be stuck between accepting the goodness of strangers or crawling back to mom. I try calling dad again. His voicemail kicks in and I know he's blocked my number. Sliding down the door I let the tears fall. Through my pathetic quiet sobbing I hear a phone ringing. Then Maxwell's muted voice as he answers. When I hear a chair scraping against the floor and him moving my way I hurriedly wipe my face and clear my throat.

"...still here. We made cookies. No. Of course not. You're not being funny." It sounds like he's stopped. "She knows how to bake without setting the alarm off. Come on! It was that one time. I was ten! Do you want me to ask her or not?" Even though I've been eavesdropping I still jump when he knocks on the door.
I clear my throat again. "Yeah?"
"Mom wants to know if you like Chinese." He speaks through the closed door and I'm glad he thinks my underwear is too embarrassing to look at.
"I do. Yes."
"Cool." His voice fades as he walks towards the kitchen again. "She said yes." I hear his heavy sigh all the way from the kitchen and through the closed door. "Mom. I'm hanging up now."
I rub my eyes, get up off of the floor, take a deep shuddering breath and slowly exhale. "Enough."

To allow for my surely blotchy crybaby face to return to some sort of normality I fold my clothes into neat squares. It's so totally out of character that I can't help laughing a little at myself. A quick look into the mirror over Jessica's vanity shows me looking pale and pathetic, but I'm sure that's how I've looked since I accepted her offer to stay the night.

When my stuff is in my bag again I feel better. It's like I'm just passing by, instead of taking advantage of their kindness. I heard Maxwell go into his room when I was packing, so I sneak into the kitchen and grab my books. The mess we made when making cookies still covers the space between the oven and the sink and I can't bring myself to leave the kitchen like that. I drop my books back onto the kitchen table and start filling the sink with soapy water.

I've washed most of it when Maxwell shows up. He hesitates in the doorway, then he grabs the towel and starts drying the things I placed on the counter.
I smile. "We should have saved a few for your mom." He shakes his head.
"She's done nothing to deserve Nutella cookies." My surprised laugh has him flashing a grin.
"Why would you say that?" His ears turn a light shade of pink and suddenly he's very focused on drying that spatula. My stomach drops. She's told him she wants me out of here.

My eyes start burning and I pull at the plug to drain the water in the sink. "Yeah. My stuff's dry. I should go."
Maxwell drops the spatula and towel to the floor. "What? No!" His hands grab my shoulders and he spins me towards him. "No, you can't leave now! Mom's getting us Chinese and we'll watch a film and you'll stay the night again and then we..." He stops talking. The flush on his face deepening as I continue to stare at him. I'm confused. His obvious distress has me at a loss for words. He lets me go. Clearing his throat he bends to pick the spatula and towel off of the floor.
"Yeah, well. Mom thinks you're staying. Tonight. She kinda asked me to tell you that you could. You know. Stay the night." I have to say something.
"Oh." I'm reevaluating everything I thought true. "Yeah. I'll stay. I... I don't know what to do otherwise. Actually."

Those damn tears burn my eyes again. These two have not done anything to deserve to have to deal with my shitty life. God. I need to get out of here.
"Hey, no. Don't cry, Kathy. Please, don't cry." Maxwell wraps his arms around me like he did on the bus, and I wish I had the strength to detangle myself and go hide in the bathroom. He pulls me closer and my arms circle his waist. He buries his face in my hair and makes these soothing noises. His breath fans out over my scalp and I haven't felt this safe in... in I don't know how long.
The floodgates open and I'm full on sobbing into his t-shirt. "I... I'm sorry. I... I don't... I don't know... I... I'm sorry."
"Shhh... it's okay. I'm here." I take deep breaths to calm myself and to stop the crying. Shuddering breaths, pathetic breaths, that refuse to stop the tears. I'm sure all the gorgeous is running off of me right this minute. It was all an illusion anyway.

"Hey kids! I'm home! And I have a huge bag full of Chinese food!" Jessica's voice has us freezing. I pull away and Maxwell lets me take a step back.
"I need a minute." I whisper. He nods and hurries out to greet his mom. As fast as humanly possible I duck into the bathroom to wash my face.
I stare at myself in the mirror. My eyes are puffy and red, my cheeks are pale and I haven't seen this much pathetic in a person, like ever. I really, really need to stop with the crying. And I have to go home tomorrow, I'm out of clean clothes and all my other things are at mom's. She's all I have now.

Maxwell's alone in the kitchen, unpacking a large paper bag filled with boxes of takeaway. He stops, like he's about to say something, but I hurry up to him and start moving boxes from the counter to the table. I clear my throat. "This smells nice. What did she get?"
Maxwell snorts. "It's more like, what didn't she get." The takeaway boxes keep stacking on the counter. "We'll be eating Chinese every meal this weekend and if it hasn't gone bad, I'm guessing we'll be eating Chinese Monday and Tuesday as well."
I smile and shake my head. "I feel so sorry for you."
With mock hurt displayed on his face, Maxwell turns to me. "Have you ever had egg rolls four days in a row? Do you know how not-delicious they are by day four?"

It's not very funny, actually it's not funny at all, but I crack up. Maybe it's his face, or the way he tilts his head, or that I've finally gone full crazy?
Anyway, I hold my stomach and laugh until there are tears running down my face. Maxwell is laughing too, but it's more checked. I think he might be worried about me.
Jessica steps into the kitchen, hair in a loose ponytail and her eyebrow raised at the scene greeting her. "What I miss?" Maxwell only shakes his head as I'm wiping my eyes and trying to collect myself.
"Egg rolls." Is the only thing I get out before falling into a fit of laughter again. This time Maxwell's laughing as hard as me. Jessica shakes her head and takes over the unloading of food.
"You guys are weird." There's a smile on her face as she says it. "Well, I'm starving. Do you guys want to eat or not?"
"Yes. Oh god. I can't breathe." I do my best to collect myself, but just looking at Maxwell has me losing it again. With a grin and a shake of his head, he throws his hands up and leaves the kitchen. Jessica has finished moving the boxes to the table and is searching the bag for chopsticks and bags of soy sauce.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I found it so funny. I just..." She smiles at me and hands me the chopsticks and nods towards the table.
"Oh, I don't mind. Actually, I don't think I've seen Max laugh that hard in ages." She shakes her head. "He's always so focused, on school and everything. This is good." This isn't helping. My face must be beet red.
"Mom!" Maxwell returns from whatever he did. "Geez!" His face is flushed too. Jessica laughs at him.
"Guess we'd better eat then. I can't embarrass you if I'm stuffing my face with fried rice." The look on Maxwell's face says otherwise, but he sits down and opens the box closest to him. A strong smell of garlic takes over the kitchen.
"Really mom? You had to have the garlic chicken?"

"Oh my god!" Jessica leans back, her hand rubbing her stomach. "This food baby is ginormous!"
I'm so full, but that deep fried prawn is calling me. I pop it into my mouth and immediately regret my decision. Chewing slowly I try to not throw up.
"Why do we do this?" Maxwell moans as he pokes around his plate, a half eaten spring roll being shoved around in a sea of rice and pork.
His mom shakes her head. "Whenever you can move, why don't you guys go chose a movie." She looks at all the takeaway boxes littering the table. "I'll clean this mess up."
"Oh, I can help."
Jessica waves my words away. "No Kathy, you and Max go chose a movie. It's mostly throwing empty boxes away anyway." Maxwell gets up and I do the same. It has me feeling queasy; that was way too much Chinese takeaway for three people!
He opens his mouth, but I raise my hand to stop him. "Not a word."
His eyebrows climb towards his hairline, but he complies. I'm terrified he'll say something about egg rolls and have me laughing and that would have me throwing up. It's enough that I'm freeloading another night. I'm not in any way adding to their burden by making them clean up my sick.