One Direction BSM Preferences

Depressed

Zayn (14):

"Zayn?" you poked your head into his bedroom, frowning when you saw that he was still in bed, rolled onto his side and staring at the wall. You opened the door a little wider, and took a cautious step into the dark room.

"Zayn, please," you said, biting your lip. "Please, come eat something."

Zayn sighed, sitting up and rubbing a hand down his face. You stepped forwards slowly, feeling almost like you were approaching a scared dog, instead of your brother.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N)," he said, reaching out to pull you into his lap. "I'm just not hungry."

You curled up against him as he lay back down. Soon his breathing evened out, but you weren't sure that was necessarily a good sign. You pulled yourself out of his arms and crept back out of the room, a frown working its way onto your face.

Harry (15):

Your family was worried. It had been six months since they had first taken you to see a therapist, since they had gotten you anti-depressants. But it didn't seem to be working.

Everyone had been trying their hardest to make you feel better. Gemma came home every chance she got, and your parents made an effort to not miss the fact that things were wrong. The only one who didn't know was Harry.

When things had gotten bad the first time, he had just left for tour. Your parents argued, Anne especially, but you were insistent that Harry didn't need to come home, that he didn't even need to know.

Now, though, he would know. And he wouldn't miss the things the rest of your family had missed, the signs that instead of getting better, you were getting worse.

"(Y/N)!" said Harry yelled when he walked in the door. He wrapped you in a big hug, pressing a sloppy kiss to the top of your head.

You forced a smile onto your face. "Hey, Hazz," you said, wincing as your voice came out too bright. He held you at arms length inspecting your face but you smiled brightly at him.

He looked like he was going to say something, but your mother spoke before he could. "(Y/N), sweetie, did you take your medicine this morning?" she asked.

You shook your head, disappearing with Gemma into the kitchen. You knew Harry would be following you. And sure enough, you heard his footsteps behind you. "What's the medicine for?" he asked as Gemma handed you the bottle of pills from the top shelf of the medicine cabinet.

"Nothing," you heard yourself say. You took two of the pills out, tossing the bottle towards Gemma, but Harry caught them.

"Xanax?" he read off of the label. "Isn't this for depression?" You nodded, swallowing the pills and turning away. Instead you found yourself enveloped in a hug. Harry whispered "I love you" into your ear.

Louis (17):

"Don't stop, doing what you're doin," you sang as you waltzed through the boys' hotel room.

"Someone seems happier," remarked Liam as he passed you on the way to the bathroom. You giggled, whirling away. However, the minute he had locked the bathroom door, your smile slid off your face.

You didn't want the boys to know you were sad - you weren't even sure why you were so sad in the first place. If they thought it was because you missed home, they would send you back to Doncaster, and you didn't like being there without Louis. You just felt so empty inside, and so sad. You wanted to sit around in bed all day, not moving, not eating, and just cry.

You really couldn't tell Louis this, though. He'd freak out unnecessarily and you really, really didn't want that to happen. He would over react, and maybe even call off the tour. You couldn't risk that.

Niall (15):

Head down, eyes on the ground. Avoid everyone. No one cares, anyway. This is what you told yourself each day whilst walking down school hallways. 

Life hadn't been necessarily bad for you since Niall had become part of One Direction, but it wasn't great. You had moved in with him to go to a really good private school, and things had just gotten worse. People either ignored you or were overly nice to you. You didn't have any friends because the few friends you had had turned out to have been using you. Your boyfriend had been using you as well, and cheated on you. You had just found out recently, and it was like the straw that broke the camel's back - you couldn't take this anymore.

You walked through the front door of your brother's house, setting your bag on the coffee table and falling onto the couch. Your hand fell across your face to block out the light, and you felt a few tears beginning to fall. It didn't surprise you - you always seemed to be crying recently.

"Y/N?" Niall called, stepping through the door. You didn't bother to move - maybe he'd just think you fell asleep on the couch. However, he was smarter than you had given him credit for. "Y/N? Are you crying? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Ni," you said, your voice sounding tired and upset. "'M fine."

Niall frowned, sitting next to you on the couch. He pulled you into his lap with ease, wrapping you in his arms in one of his warm hugs. (A/N: I'm Olaf, and I like warm hugs...) He pressed a kiss to your temple and wiped away the tears on your cheeks. "I know you, pumpkin. Something's wrong. Tell me, please."

He was begging, but he didn't care. With a sigh, you opened your mouth. Unexpectedly, the words came spilling out, and before you knew it, Niall was on the computer researching therapists in the area.

Liam (5): (A/N this killed me to write omg.)

Losing your parents had been hard on everyone, but especially Liam. He had been on tour when it happened, only alerted to it when Ruth called in tears from a hospital back home, babbling about an "accident" and "baby" and "coma."He had immediately taken off for a while from tour, rushing home to be by his parent's side. They had gotten into a devastating car accident with three other vehicles, that left both of them in comas, and you having to undergo surgery.

It was just two hours after he arrived at the hospital that your mother died, your father passing half an hour after that. 

Liam, Ruth, and Nicole began to debate over who would take care of you, while you lay in a hospital bed in the children's wing. Management insisted that Liam couldn't do it, that it would ruin him and the band - after all, who had time to tour and take care of a five-year-old? However, your older siblings agreed that it would be best if you were to live with who you were most comfortable with - Liam. 

It was hard - some days, Liam wouldn't even want to get out of bed, wouldn't even want to exist anymore, but he had to take care of you. Even though sometimes that terrified him.

"Lili?" you asked whilst munching on a chicken nugget. You stared up at him with big brown eyes until he paused in his conversation with Harry, kneeling down to your level.

"Yes, muchkin?" he asked, with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Do you ever wanna die?" 

You asked it so innocently that he wasn't sure he had heard right. However, the way that everyone in the room froze told him he had. "W-what? Why do you ask that, Y/N?"

You shrugged, pushing your plate aside. "I'm full," you said quietly, though you had only eaten a small portion of your plate. "And because sometimes I want to. That's what happened to Mommy and Daddy. I want to be with them." Liam's eyes filled with tears, and he gathered you in his arms. His eyes searched the rest of the boys, landing on Simon, who was already on the phone with a child psychologist.

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A/N: Does this make up for my absence...? No? Sorry........