Edit: I have no idea what happened to the spacing, so I had to fix it.. Sorry!
Oh boy... Not again. You watch, bags heavy under your eyes, as your lover sneaks around the kitchen with a cookbook in hand. The lights are dim (and in the back of your mind you're wondering if it's safe to cook in such poor lighting as this) and the stove is on. Something's cooking in that pot, and for once it's not fragrant... usually Thatch is all about spices and various ingredients to invigorate all of your senses.
"Oh, Peanut!" he greets, finally spotting you. "What are you doing up? You know it's really late, right? You should be asleep."
"You took the words out of my mouth," you grumble as you walk further into the kitchen. "I'm shutting this down."
"What?"
"All of it."
"B-but... No you can't!" Thatch pouts as he stomps his foot. "I just started cooking!" You glance at his bandaged hand as your eyebrow twitches.
"I can and am. Marco told me you were to stay away from the kitchen until you're healed."
"That bird brain doesn't know what he's talking about," Thatch grumbles as he walks to the stove.
"Listen, I know you're getting weird cooking withdrawals or whatever-"
"I am not!"
"But do you REALLY want Pops hearing about his son who won't rest on the doctor's orders?" You see your lover tense, and you can actually hear the nervous gulp he takes. "That's what I thought, so-"
"Spaghetti."
"What?"
"I'm making spaghetti."
"Okay, and?"
"I want to finish making it."
"Thatch, sweetie, I love you but if you keep this up I'm gonna go and get Marco and Ace. You think those two want to wake up to drag your ass back to bed?" He shifts and glances at you before walking closer, which in truth shocks you. Is he going to listen...? No, the fact he didn't put everything back immediately makes you regret having hope like that. "What are you doing...?"
"You're going to try and stop me, aren't you?" Thatch asks in a low voice as he slowly shrugs off his jacket. "Perhaps I need to convince you otherwise..."
---
"Why is there a metric fuckton of spaghetti..?" Ace asks as he walks into the dining hall for breakfast. When he notices the way everything is set up, he groans. "Damn it, Thatch..."
"He cooked again?"
"Apparently."
"Isn't he supposed to be recovering, Marco?" Haruta asks as he takes a seat. "And why spaghetti...?" Marco rubs his face and begins going through the various ways he can hide a dead body.
"Ace, you mind helping?"
"Yeah, yeah," he huffs, looking to the kitchen where he can still hear noises. "Why didn't (Y\N) try and stop him?"
"She might not have woken up," Marco shrugs as they walk to the door, preparing themselves to kick the shit out of the jackass. As they open the doors, however, they blink in surprise.
"Kinky." Marco immediately elbows the other jackass in the side before walking over to you. Your arms are tied to your sides by Thatch's jacket, and his scarf is over your mouth.
"Tried to stop him?" You nod and glare in the direction of the pantry, where Thatch had gone to get even more pasta.
"Had some kinky fun?" Ace asks as he kneels in front of you. He's rewarded for his question with a kick in the face from you and a slap up the side of the head from Marco. "Christ, it was just a joke," Ace complains as Marco helps untie you.
"So where's the dumbass?"
"Take a fucking guess," you grumble as you stand and start heading towards the pantry. Marco and Ace follow close behind, and prepare for a good show. Once you get to the doors of the pantry you throw them open, and you hardly flinch at the girlish scream your lover produced.
"(Y\N)?! How'd you get o-"
"Hey!" Ace chirps as Marco gives an overly kind smile.
"-h fuck." And with that the three of you grab the idiot and drag him back to the infirmary.
---
"(Y\N)...?" You continue to ignore the man as you turn a page in your book. "Honey?"
"Dude, you tied her up so you could cook," Ace whispers, making Thatch pout slightly before looking back at you.
"Sugar? Cupcake? Marshmallow..?"
"Thatch, give it a rest," Marco scolds, glancing up from his paperwork. Thatch frowns and moves closer, though he flinches slightly when you growl.
"Cookie," he whispers, setting his chin on your shoulder. "Are you really mad at me?"
"What the fuck do you think?" You grumble, glaring at the man from the corner of your eye.
"No...?"
"Try again."
"Super no?" You rub your face and growl under your breath, this ass pissed you off, you shouldn't be falling for this trick. "Super, double no?"
"Thatch, I'm warning you."
"Come on, Muffin," he whines quietly, "You know I didn't mean it!" By now Ace and Marco have left, knowing just where this is going... Those assholes.
"Knock it off."
"I would never want to make my adorable Sweet Pea mad at me," he hums as he hides his face against your neck. "Come on, Sprinkles, what can I do to make up for it...?" After a moment of silence you groan and lean against him.
"If I find you in that kitchen before your hand is healed, I'll throw you overboard. Do I make myself clear?"
"Of course, Pumpkin," your lover chirps as he places kisses around your neck.
"And another thing."
"Hm?"
"No more embarrassing pet names in front of the crew."
"No can do, Peaches." You sigh and rub your face, but deep down your happy that this idiot is yours.
YOU ARE READING
One Piece Reader Inserts
FanfictionLol, me? Continuing any of the stories I have going? Unlikely. Me starting a new collection of oneshots? Yeah, whoops. Anyways I'm not super far into the series, but I love it and I'm gonna write stuff for it.