When Death Followed Me Home

May 1, 1994

The ending is near my children

We will fight, but not to fall

My dear children. You mean so much to me but I hate to give you these dreadful news. By the time you get this it will be to late. I know because I'm already here. Writing as the battle crimes emit from my enemies and my allies. If you shall ever hate me for protecting our country then do so but please watch after each other. The war will not end. For it has just begun. The worlds my dear children is ending but not in the way that God has granted it to. It my dear children will end in destruction.

I beg of you as a fathers will do not treat each other out of respect but treat each other out of knowledge. Each of my dearest sons and daughters, you, know what the others do not. I ask that you just share it. Do not disobey my only hopes of still protecting the family that I love so closely to my heart. Watch over your mother until God may have her to watch. Follow God's order my children until you go home and once your there you will see that we are proud. To my dearest and oldest son, Matthew, you are the next war brother. you are to fight what I may not be able to finish. Don't regard your position as a father when I am gone. You are to watch over your siblings until someday, Jeremiah, may do so and so on.

To my dearest middle aged son, Jeremiah, I ask of your forgiveness. In the past I have treated you unfairly. I have disobeyed my duty as a father ever since I took you in. I wasn't aware that even if I have a son that Is white, no color, or race, or gender, should ever effect that. And again my dearest son I beg for your forgiveness. I ask that you watch over your siblings younger or older. They are still our brothers. I ask of you that whatever grudge may be stored in your heart about your past I shall tell you now so your soul may be set free. You were just a baby when we took you in. You sat crying in the arms of your mother, Jess Scott. She knew that the British would come look for you so she gave you over to the French so that one day you may fight against the people that stole your pride. I ask of you Jeremiah don't be mad at your mother for she knew what was best for the child that she loved.

To the youngest of them all. My dearest son, Michael, thank you for letting me bless you as my gift. All your brothers are but you my son have something special. You have hope and I asked that you share it with your brothers if they ever think of loosing it. Watch over them as they watch over yours. You my son are the most important gift to the French. You were to be a sacrifice but as I held your baby body close to me you held your hand out and that was then that I thought not to surrender you but to call you my own. You have caused me to suffer less and that Is why no matter what happens embrace your true colors whether they maybe white or black. Your disease does not choose who you are in life.

To my daughters, Diana and Dina, you are precious to me and I hope that someday you will take your mothers place and help raise the family. You have made your father and mother both proud of you and I don't ever want you to forget that even if I die during war. I have already dealt with my wounds that I had since the last war but I don't know if i'll make it to see your birthday's. Any of your birthdays in fact. Please don't be mad at me for wanting to help our home. Don't forget to have faith. I love you all. I must go before they find me. Tonight many will die, many will fall or stand in their enemies blood. No matter what we will win. Even if It may be the bloodiest war of the British and the French in 1994.