“It’s strange how much you have in common with me, you know. I’ve never met someone who liked all the same things as me.”
I smile at him but don’t say anything. We’re sitting on the curb in front of the music store, his iPod between us, streaming some new loud music through the headphones we are sharing.
It’s been a few weeks since that day I ran into him at the coffee shop, and he’s since broken up with Music Store Girl. We have been together almost everyday, listening to music and talking about everything. We talk about things I’ve never talked about with anyone. My views on marriage and how many kids I want and what I want to do with my life.
It surprises me how quickly I’ve gotten to know everything about him. He hates feminists and wants two little girls. He’s easily offended so I have to be careful what I say because I don’t want to upset him. I don’t know how he feels, but I can tell I’m already more deeply involved than I had planned. He texts me and he’s sweet when we’re together, but every few days he tells me we can’t be a couple. I always laugh and nod, because of course I know this. I don’t tell him how much it hurts when he grabs my hand but lets it go when someone is near, for fear he’ll decide I’m not worth the effort.
Because he’s him and you are nothing without him.
He stands up, holding his hand down to me to help me up. We walk down the street, and I talk about whatever things that come to mind, hoping he’ll stay longer than normal. I try everyday but he always seems to be in a hurry to leave.
I’m telling him about a concert I heard about when he brushes a hair from my face and pulls me closer to himself. I’m sure he can feel how hard my heart is pounding and I struggle to control my breathing. His lips are almost on mine and I close my eyes seconds before he closes the distance between us. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him back, and tilt my head when his lips move to my neck. My stomach is tied completely in knots by the time he pulls away, barely moving his mouth when he says good bye.
I watch him walk away and breath slowly in and out trying to force my heart to beat at a normal speed.
He disappears around a corner and my phone vibrates in my back pocket. I pull it out and see his name on the screen.
His text read, “Just friends.”
Not good enough for anything more.
I shuffle my feet on the walk home and ignore my mom when she calls me for dinner. I’m sitting on my bed replaying the kiss over and over again in my head, desperately wishing he’d call.
He doesn’t.
But I brush it off because I know he’s busy and I shouldn’t be selfish.
I climb into bed when I feel my throat tighten up and my vision begins to blur.
I’m awakened at 2:30 am by my phone buzzing on the bed beside me. I see the caller ID and eagerly answer it.
“Alec?”
“Hey, you know Crystal?”
Of course I know Crystal. Everyone knows her, and we’ve gone to school together since kindergarten.
I don’t say this though. Instead I say, “Yeah, I do. Why, whats up?”
I hear Alec’s breathing on the other end of the line, and he sighs before saying, “She’s really pretty, and I ran into her tonight.”
“Oh.”
“Do you have her number,” he asks, “I mean, do you think she’d be into me?”
“Um, no I don’t have her number but I’m sure she would be. I’m going to sleep now, Goodnight Alec.”
“Wait! If you see her, could you ask her about me?”
I swallow to open up my tight throat, “Yeah sure.”
“Thanks! Goodnight Ava!”
The line goes dead and I pull myself out of bed. I rummage through my drawer to find my pencil sharpener.
This is what you get.
