Velvet Light

Catch fire

I can't change the world but maybe I'll change your mind
- 5 Seconds of Summer

—

The mental image and flashbacks still remained vividly in his mind, fresh as day.

The first of many times.

Her piercing blue eyes stared deeply into his soul while her small yet plump lips parted. His hand reached to push away strands of hair from her face and behind her ear. His hand moving to her cheek, feeling her soft skin against his fingertips.

She was the embodiment of beauty.

She could feel the tangible presence of his unspoken infatuation, his actions speaking louder than words could.

Niall knew it would be hard to deal with the fact that they couldn't be more, but never expected it to hit him so hard. Still, he didn't want to lose her. She was so present in his life, things seemed to be near to perfect the way things are. He has no intention of ruining what they have, so he remains silent as he allows the memory to fill his mind.

"Niall," she says breathily as his lips connected with her neck, finding her sweet spot. "I need you."

She needed him.

Charlotte needed him.

Him.

He found himself repeating this over and over in his head, unable to grasp how she needed him of all people. Sure, it was an in the moment desire, but even so, she needed him. If only she understood how much he needed her.

She sat on top of his lap, still fully clothed in a champagne coloured satin slip top with that same black mini skirt she wore the second time they met.

His fingers laced around the straps of her top, as she felt it fall from her upper torso. Lifting her arms up, Niall lifted the top from her body revealing a lacy white bra.

Such few articles of clothing separated the two. Her bra, underwear and skirt. His top, underwear and jeans.

His mind kept repeating her words over and over again. "I need you."

It's been weeks since they proposed the idea of a casual relationship. Niall still felt giddy every time he kissed her, knowing that he could kiss her practically whenever he pleases now. Each kiss as special as the first.

He felt a pang of guilt every time he had a thought he couldn't let go of, but knowing it would damage what they had going for them.

He couldn't shake the fact that he needed more. He needed the confirmation that she was only his. His to hold, his to kiss, his to please, his to love.

Niall wanted a relationship, and yet they had discussed this. He remembered her words clear as day.

"I just can't do long term commitment at the moment."

He knew what he signed himself up for, but now that Niall is able to think retrospectively and speak from experience, he realises his needs for stability. This was great, not to discount that. But only now does he realise that simply mucking around and casual sex just wasn't enough.