EPHEMERAL || BBH

The Thing About Internet ❁

*.☽.*

I was making my way back to the kitchen, my mind filled with a particular name, Kim Ara.

I felt that familiar tug in my heart again. It was crazy how the mere thought of her could make me feel this way. I didn't know exactly nor did I understand why I was so affected. Maybe because she's Baekhyun's Ex-girlfriend and he never once mentioned her to me. The truth was, I wasn't even sure if she was an ex-girlfriend because I only heard about her once. I didn't ask Ji Hye about her and haven't dared to search about her on the internet. But now, hearing her name straight from Baekhyun, somehow made it seem like she was indeed involved with him before.

When I was about a few steps away from the kitchen, I tried my best to shake these thoughts away because obviously, I was already overthinking. And it would not do any good to me. Baekhyun's here and he did nothing more but be honest about what he felt about me. It's not fair for me to entertain some crazy thoughts and I definitely shouldn't jump to conclusions because they're not healthy. I should trust Baekhyun on this one. Right, I should. So, I filled my lungs with air before I showed up in front of Aunt Sunny.

"Where's Baekhyun?" She asked immediately.

"Uh, he's still on the phone Auntie," I answered, trying to smile genuinely at her. "He'll be here soon."

***

I tried but couldn't help but be a bit anxious while I sat right next to him during lunchtime. There was no trace of anger on his face now. He was even enjoying his food and happily answered Aunt Sunny's questions about his songs from time to time. I also tried my hardest to concentrate on my food because all I could think about was his conversation on the phone a while ago.

Would he tell me about it? I kept asking myself. But then, do I want to know?

I looked at Baekhyun again and wondered how it appeared to be easy for him to hide everything and pretend like he wasn't bothered by any of it. Though, I get why he's doing it. Aunt Sunny was with us and he was being polite.

***

Right after lunch, he told me that he had to go back to Seoul because something came up. Of course, something came up. My bitchy subconscious remarked but I shoved her away.

We both went back to my room to get his phone and his hat. I sat on my bed as I watched him wear his jacket and I felt that sinking feeling again. It was like watching your favorite day end, afterglow spread across the sky, the air turning icy cold which is an indication that the inevitable night has finally come. And you're there watching everything beautiful about that day leave.

One thing I know for sure now is the fact that I dislike seeing him leave. I mean, it wasn't like we were not going to see each other again but it was the thought of not knowing when. The unpredictability.

I sighed. I have to manage this separation anxiety I get whenever we part.

"Hey..." He said, getting my attention. "Are you okay?" His voice was gentle and worried at the same time.

I suddenly became aware that I might have appeared downcast before him.

"Yeah," I answered but it must be too late for that lie now.

He went and stood in front of me. He took my hand to make me stand so we're now facing each other. There was a small, comforting smile on his face.

"I'll come visit you soon." He told me, his voice was filled with affection. "I promise."