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Chapter 37: What could've been

Jae POV:

I let the vigorous hot water droplets from the shower hit my body as I sigh exhausted from my long day at work. I had 5 clients today, they all wanted me to organise their events and write an article about it meaning I had shit load of paper work to do. Sometimes being the best at something is a curse. I took an extra shift, I keep telling myself it's because I need the money but I don't, I know deep down it's because I'm trying to avoid Jungkook. I thought he was joking so I laughed but he never laughed he just looked at me with a serious look in his eyes and that's when I knew he wasn't joking. He's Jungkook so of course I thought he was joking, I didn't answer him I couldn't answer him too many things were going on in my mind. The thought of me being with  Jungkook married was the only thought on my mind when I was younger, we were gonna live in a nice house with a pool because Jungkook loves to swim. We would have 3 kids or 4 but I low-key want 8 to be honest and they'd all love basketball I hoped. But I know deep down that would never happen.

I stand in the shower and close my eyes trying my best to feel the hot droplets on my skin so I can feel something but no my body is numb. I have so much on my mind that I just want this water to wash it all away.

But it hurts me so much to think about what could've been.

"So will you marry me?" I hear Jungkook's voice but I shake it off thinking that I'm obviously losing my mind. I've been imagining him asking me that question for days and I just want it to stop. "Are you seriously ignoring me right now?" I hear the voice this time more vividly causing me to turn and see Jungkook in his suit, hands in his pocket looking down at me.

"What the fuck dude I'm taking a shower!" I exclaim as I try to cover myself up with my hands making him giggle at me. At times like this I wish I had a curtain but no I had to be boujee and get myself a walk in shower.

"It's nothing I ain't seen before" He carelessly shrugs his shoulders as he eyes me up and down making me scoff at him and begin to look for a rob but he grabs the black robe before I could get to it making me fold my arms across my chest and sulk. "Why you trynna burn your beautiful skin?" He asks me as he looks at the steam fogging on the glass windows. He grabs my arm and yanks me out of the shower making me squeal.

"Jungkook what the hell? You can't just storm into my bathroom and drag my ass outta the shower like that" I tell him off angry at him for acting so immature. He doesn't take me seriously and just scoffs at me before folding his arms over his chest. Why can't he ever take anything seriously? Why is everything a joke to him?

"Why you stressing?" He asks me as he looks down at me with his cold serious eyes making me nervous. I hate when he does this it makes me feel so small and vulnerable. I don't answer him, I just continue looking down at my bare feet not wanting to talk. "Jaelyn I can read you like a book, you don't take boiling hot showers for no reason" he adds making me sigh and roll my head backwards.

"I... we...marriage... wow I'm just I dunno-"

"Do you know now?" He cuts me off as he moves closer to me and holds my hands. I don't look up at him, I know if I look at him I'll go all soft and back to naive 17 year old Jaelyn Carter who can't do shit because of Jungkook.

"It's not that simple" I mumble with a sigh thinking about how wonderful life would've been if he just didn't leave, if he stayed and helped me raise up the kids. We would've been so happy, no drama in our lives, no secrets and now here he comes demanding me for an answer.

"Why not baby girl? You wanted me in you the other time" he questions as he moves closer to me so close that my breast are squished into his chest. Why won't I move back? I'm frozen in my space just letting him embrace me in his arms and I don't totally hate it. "I bet you still do" he whispers in my ear and I feel his hot breath travel down my neck causing me to roll my head back giving him the freedom to leave gentle kisses on my neck.