drarry「oneshots」

cute spoofs

Harry: Potter!
Draco: Malfoy!
Harry: Potter!
Draco: Malfoy!
Harry: Potter!
Ron: ...Why are they shouting their own last names?
Hermione, barely looking up from her book: They are arguing over who's last name to take when they get married.

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Ron: I put the "fun" in dysfunctional
Hermione: My hair puts the "cute" in electrocuted
Harry: And I put the D in Draco
Hermione:
Ron:
Pansy:
All of Gryffindor:
Voldemort:
The basilisk:
Salazar Slytherin:
Dumbledore: One hundred points to Drarry

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Draco: You are so embarrassing Potter
Harry: Let go of my hand then
Draco: No

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Harry: Ron I need to tell you something
Ron: What is it mate?
Harry: I like someone
Ron: Cool, what's her name?
Harry: Well, it's a he
Ron: That's fine, as long as it isn't Malfoy haha
Harry:
Ron:
Harry:
Ron: Harry?

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Harry: I cant believe we're on a date. I never thought you would ever like me
Draco: I climbed a tree just to get your attention are you fucking serious

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*Harry, Ron, Pansy and Draco while drunk*
Harry: L is for the way you lOoK at me
Ron: O is for the oNlY oNe I seee
Pansy: V is very very extRaoRdiNaRy
Draco: Egg

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Draco: Nothing is going to change alright Potter?
Harry, kissing Draco's cheek: Yeah
Draco: We are still going to pretend that we hate each other and that we don't want anything to do with each other.
Harry, now moving down and kissing Draco's neck: Mhm
Draco: And you are to stay at least three feet away from me at all times.
Harry, stepping away: Like this?
Draco: What are you talking about get back over here and keep kissing me

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Ron: Why are you wearing Malfoy's jersey?
Harry, sweating nervously: Uh, I stole it, to get back at him, cause he's a git.
Ron: Okay but why is he laying in your bed?
Harry, sweating even more: Er- I stole him too, to get back at him, cause he's a git
Ron: Right.

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Hermione, when Draco and Harry arrive at the three broomsticks: Harry why is your tongue purple?
Harry: Oh, I had a blue slushee...
Draco: ...And I had a red one
Ron: Merlin's beard

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Pansy, bursting into Harry's dorm holding a camera: YOU TWO ARE HAVING SEX!
Draco, looking up from his book: We are?
Harry, putting down his homework: Why didn't you tell me, Pansy? I would've put my stuff down sooner

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Draco: Even though your a prat and I hate you, I would fuck you if you asked
Harry: ...What?
Draco: What
Harry: What
Ron, in the corner of the room, shoving popcorn in his mouth: He said he would fuck you if you asked

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Harry: Look at these pens I bought today! Aren't they adorable
Draco: Harry that's gay
Harry: Draco we've been dating for two years-

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Harry, throwing rocks into the black lake: It's such a beautiful day
Draco, whispering: Take that you fuckin lake

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Draco: You come into mY DORM
Harry: This is our dorm!
Draco: And take MY sweater
Harry: THIS IS MY SWEATER

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Hermione: What's your dream?
Ron: To finally be appreciated and treated as an equal
Pansy: To find the one I truly love and spend my life with them
Harry: To live a long, healthy, drama-free life, preferably with a couple of kids
Draco: Wet

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Harry: You're awful
Harry: Yes you're cute but your also a self-centred jerk
Harry: You are one of the cruelest humans I've ever met
Draco:
Draco: He called me cute

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Harry: Your hair looks very hot today
Draco: I know
Harry: You make flirting very hard you know?
Draco: You make me very hard
Draco: *Winks*
Draco: That's how you flirt

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Draco, swaggering over to Harry: Scared, Potter?
Harry: You wish
Pansy: *Points at the two* Gayyyy

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Hi I don't even know what this chapter is it's kind of just a bunch of spoofs I found on tumblr :) Also two updates in one day wHo iS sHe