Love, Madison

One

Ever since I could remember my life has been good, I could never complain about it. I had everything I could ever ask for only because I'm an only child and my parents try making it up to me for never giving me a sibling.

I sometimes wished I did have a sibling just so my parents would stop paying so much attention to me. Some people want their parents to pay attention to them, I want mine to leave me alone.

I was hoping a new baby would take up all their attention and I could live my life as a regular seventeen year old, I know that's really selfish but it's true. Don't get me wrong being the adoration of my parents sometimes had it's perks, they trust me and I trust them. I can talk to them about anything especially my mom she is like my best friend, OMG did I really just say that I'm such a loser...

Despite having everything handed to me I'm proud of the things I earned on my own. My reputation at school is impeccable, I mean when you have an outstanding GPA, the most amazing best friends, and you are popular who wouldn't want to be you. Sorry, that probably makes me sound like a self centered bitch.

Abby, Carly and I have been best friends since second grade when I moved to Los Angeles but I was sort of the third wheel for a while until we realized that we were the three Y's (Abby, Carly and Maddy).

My name is actually Madison but when I was seven I didn't care what people called me as long as I made friends. The rest of my elementary school years where pretty good then two weeks after I started junior high a weird guy named Carter transferred to our school he was incredibly gorgeous but really shy. I decided I would become friends with him since I knew it was hard being the new kid.

I often talked to him so he would feel more comfortable but there was something different about him. It wasn't until he started dating Abby that I realized what it was. He felt that he could trust me enough to tell me his biggest secret and I was truly grateful for that ever since then he has been like a brother to me.

Carter is the only other man in my life besides my dad and he is honestly my favorite person on earth. I can trust him with all of my secrets, he doesn't BS anything and he saves me when a pathetic guy tries hitting on me, oh and he always finds the cutest shoes for me when we go shopping. He only does it because he feels like he owes me for helping him come out but I know that deep down he loves me, oh did I forget to mention... he's gay.

As "perfect" as my life may seem it's not. Every fairytale has to have a wicked witch right, that evil  villain that ruins everything yeah I definitely have one of those. Her name is Jessica Mikelson and she hates me for no apparent reason unless you count almost kissing her boyfriend the summer before eighth grade but that's a minor detail. It wasn't even my fault we were playing "Truth or Dare" and we got dared to kiss, she had no reason to get upset.

We were literally millimeters away when she started yelling that I was a slut for trying to kiss her boyfriend. I panicked I had never been called a slut before, I didn't even know what it meant at the time. I instantly scooted away from him and started running for the door. He ran after me and calmed me down, he made me feel comfortable and that was the first time I actually realized I felt something for him that was also the first time Jessica and him had a major fight.

His name is Gavin and we're really good friends I've known him my whole life and to this day I'm still crushing on him, even though I've started to give up hope that one day we'll end up together. Jessica has made it clear to everyone that Gavin is hers especially after summer before sophomore year when he deflowered her and she pranced around in the hallways on the first day of school bragging about it. I wasn't really surprised I mean they were literally meant for each other their parents have practically arranged their marriage already and they are only in high school.

Our parents are good friends so we spend most holidays together which is pretty good for the most part except when he asks me to do him favors. Which means pretend to go out with him while he actually goes and hooks up with someone that isn't Jessica, she probably cheats on him too but it burns me that he uses me to go have sex with other girls. But I'm happy just being around him even though he treats me like a little sister which I hate because everytime I see him shirtless and I have the urge to run up to him and lick his abs it just feels wrong.

I asked him once if he was actually happy with Jessica he confessed to me that he wasn't which made me happy but at the same time I felt sorry for him because if he ever broke up with her his dad would kill him.

On our family trip to Hawaii last spring he asked me for one of his favors and I said yes like always. We went to a luau on the beach and after having nailed two girls we headed back to our hotel, he was completely wasted and couldn't even walk straight so I had to help him the whole way.

When we got to his room he started acting really weird he was undressing himself which wasn't something I hadn't seen before. But he got really close to me and started stroking my hair and saying that I was really beautiful, and that I was a really good friend but that he has always liked me more than a friend. I thought to myself that he was saying that because he was drunk but then he looked into my eyes and he actually looks serious. He leaned in and I made no hesitation to try and stop, him he kissed me for what seemed like forever. It was the best kiss I had ever had it was also my first kiss but it was probably the best kiss I will ever have. After that I left him in his room and I went into mine in that moment I could have died happily but I kept thinking that Jessica was right now I really was a slut.

I was probably already a slut for helping Gavin cheat on her but now I was a real actual slut. The next day I decided to try and avoid Gavin as much as possible which was inevitable since we were here together.

When he talked to me that morning he told me he didn't remember anything so when I gave him a recap I decided not to mention the kiss. When I got back to school I told Carly, Abby, and Carter about the kiss and all the things he had said to me, they were the only ones who knew and I made them swear they wouldn't tell anyone. Carly tried convincing me that it was probably true that he actually liked me but I didn't want to believe that.