Learning How to Bend

March 19

If Thaddeus's mood could be compared to a weather phenomenon, it would be the eye of a hurricane. The silence and air, thick and ominous, as his thoughts continued to brood. I did not break the silence between us, as I did not think Thaddeus would talk anyway even if I did. He would never admit it, but I could tell his parents' words had hit a sore spot. It never occurred to me until visiting them that Thaddeus could possibly not be good enough for them. I did not know his class rank when he graduated high school, but something told me whatever it was, they had not thought it high enough. If he had finished as salutatorian, they would not have congratulated him. Rather, they would have asked why he was not the absolute top of his class. He wanted to please them, but nothing was ever satisfactory. If he spent too much time in Vermont, they would chastise him for not working harder. Too much time in New York, and he was accused of ignoring their existence, which was by no means the case. He had tried to assist them, but they had rejected it. What more was he supposed to do? He could win a marathon, and his parents would ask why he did not break the world record.

He drove us to Brighton State Park, where we checked in before commuting the short distance to the cabin Thaddeus had reserved for two nights. The Raven Cabin, the sign read. Inside, there was a couch—which I assumed opened into a bed—a bunk bed, a table, and two chairs. The room smelled. Not badly by any means. It smelled of wood. Nature...and, well, freedom. While I explored the close surrounding area with Chelise, Thaddeus unloaded our belongings from the vehicle and took them inside. I could hear a child laughing in the distance, but outside of that, I only heard the birds and rustling of tree limbs in the wind. It was arguably the most relaxing place I had ever been. Had I lived near the park, Joey and I would have been there every weekend. The park ranger had told Thaddeus and me when we checked in about nature programs, hiking trails galore, and even boat rentals to go out on the park's two ponds, although I wanted nothing to do with the last of those activities. We had also arrived too late in the day to partake in any, as it was well past dark when we finally settled into two camping chairs by the cabin's outdoor fire pit.

Although I had no idea he could do it, it surprised me not at all when Thaddeus swiftly and expertly started a fire with kindling and logs, the warmth comforting against the skin of my face. We probably could have easily managed without a fire, but I did not complain. The outside temperature was mild. Warm enough that I could wear short sleeves comfortably, yet not so warm as to merit shorts. Chelise was unsure about the fire at first, but I settled her on the cabin's porch before sitting down in one of the chairs that Thaddeus had brought from his parents' house. We had not spoken a word to each other since leaving, but we had not needed to. And truth be told, I had not wanted to. The park was too tranquil and noiseless to risk disturbing the peace.

So distracted was I by the warmth and sound of the crackling flames that I did not notice Thaddeus was moving until he touched my hand and pulled it toward his lap. I jumped somewhat off my seat at the contact but relaxed almost immediately. Thaddeus began softly rubbing his thumb up and down, from my knuckles to my wrist and back again.

"My parents used to bring us here. My siblings, Alessio, and me," Thaddeus said. "At least as long as Alessio was with us. We'd never stay for long, but some of my fondest memories were made here. We would be able to do as we pleased, so as long as we were back at the vehicle by a certain time." When I squeezed his hand to encourage him to continue, he sighed and shook his head. "Alone, my parents could not give me instructions or say how I had completed a task inferiorly. I liked coming here because I could be myself and focus on myself without hindrance or guilt."

"I like it here; it's quiet." I smiled at him. "Such a contrast from New York. It's...soothing."

Thaddeus nodded.