Can't Buy Me Love

Part 8

Joe didn't go to the office for a few days after that. Didn't charge his phone or answer his emails. He ignored every knock and shout from his door. He just drifted off as he had so many years ago. He didn't like it but he didn't feel like he had a real place anymore. How as he supposed to act? What was he supposed to do? He was hurt by the two people he felt closest to.

He never expected Rami to do such a thing. To stoop so low all because he thought getting Joe out of his funk would be for the better? Hiring someone to do it? What could he not find anybody else to go on a real date with him? Was he truly that pathetic? Joe didn't know what to think. He didn't want to ask him. Not yet. He was still so fucking heartbroken.

He was alone and he hated it. Joe had gotten used to not being alone anymore but now he was there without Ben, without Rami, and he felt terrible. He missed them both and they were reaching out to him but it wasn't enough. It would never be enough.

It was nearly a week when Joe was forced back into the office to watch the final cut of the film. Rami was there but he wouldn't speak to him. They watched the movie and Joe made his comments before leaving. Rami found him by the elevator and while he didn't want to talk he was forced to listen.

Rami rambled off an apology as he tried to explain himself. He mentioned how Lucy basically ripped him a new asshole for doing something so stupid. He wasn't apologizing because of her. He knew it was wrong. Stupid and mean and possibly the worst thing he could have ever done.

Joe thanked him for it but he didn't accept it. Because deep down, they were both in the wrong. Rami shouldn't have paid some guy to go out with him but Joe....

He hadn't been living for quite some time. He had just been existing, surviving day after day with a broken heart. At first, he thought Rami was just like the two who hurt him so badly, but he knew that wasn't true. Rami tried to help him even if was in a very grim way.

But it did work for the short time it lasted. Joe did come out of his shell, piece by piece. He liked who he was with Ben and while he never wanted to be the type of people who couldn't exist without a love interest, he knew at the end of the day he was a hopeless romantic who just wanted to be loved.

"He did return the money. Just so you know." Rami admitted quietly. "After I guess what, your second date. When I was with Lucy?"

"Fourth," Joe told him.

Rami bobbed his head. "Right. Wow. That's a lot more than I expected." Joe sent him a glare. He didn't need to do this. Talk to him. He could very well just turn around and leave. He was still Rami's friend but right now he was annoyed.

"Anyway, he contacted me and gave me the money back in full. He also told me that he was going to legitimize your relationship. Whatever that meant. He didn't want me to tell you."

"So what, he planned on never telling me?"

Like that would have been better. Even if Ben liked him, their relationship would have been built on lies.

"I think he just wanted to tell you himself. This is probably the last time you want to hear, but you really did look good tonight."

It wasn't the last thing he wanted to hear. He wanted to hear it all the time. Wanted to be reminded about how good he and Ben were together so he could tell himself that he didn't just make it up in his head.

With a pat on the shoulder, Joe left the office, but he didn't go home. Instead, he found himself going to the dog park. He sat on the bench and waited, knowing he'd show up. Frankie had a schedule and Ben wasn't one to go against it.

When he arrived the puppy trotted over to him, happy to see her second favorite human before hurrying off to play. Ben stood awkwardly eventually going to sit beside him on the bench. They sat together, with Joe watching Frankie and Ben watching Joe.

"How much?" Joe asked when he finally ended the silence.

Ben didn't need to ask what he meant. He already knew. "Three hundred per date," Ben told him. "He only told me to take you on two. The rest was all my idea."

Rami paid $600 just to get him to leave his house. Jesus fucking Christ.

"Did you sleep with anybody when we were together?" Joe asked him.

"It's not always like that," Ben told him.

He went onto explain what he did and how he got into it. Some people were lonely and just wanted to have somebody around. Old rich people who didn't have families anymore. He spoke of one lady that lost her grandson due to suicide and now she had nobody. Ben would take her to dinner and make her feel good about herself; like she didn't fail as a grandmother. Sometimes there were wealthy men and women who wanted to show up to an event with a handsome man.

The night of the party, when he arrived in the three-piece, he had been a date for a familiar client. She was an older lady who liked to go out to dinner from time to time. She would wear her fur coat and pearls and Ben would dress as nicely as possible. It made her feel young again. It was innocent. When he saw Joe's message, he explained the situation and she was kind enough to understand as he slipped away.

Some paid for sex, and Ben wasn't proud of it. He had always been careful, always made sure that he was rested. He put an end to that after he realized his feelings for Joe. The moment they became official that was over. "The man at your work event. He was a former client. I refused to service him and he was bitter over it."

Joe didn't know what he was supposed to do. He could walk away or forgive him. Either way, his heart still hurt.

"I didn't want to hurt you, Joe. I'm glad I said yes to Rami otherwise I would have never have met you in the first place." Ben told him gently. "I was going to tell you. Explain it all to you. I just never got the chance."

"Do you have another set of skills?" Joe asked him, finally looking at him. "If I pay you weekly, give you an allowance, will you stop?"

Joe knew he sounded crazy. He'd pay for his own boyfriend. Who the fuck would do that? He would. He'd pay anything to have Ben back into his life.

He liked who he was when Ben was around. And maybe he could be that person without him, but why take the chance?

"You don't have to do that. It's done. It's..." ben scrambled to get his phone. He showed it off, revealing that he had the WhatsApp application and automatically deleted it off his phone. "I'm gone. I'll shut down the website. Delete the email. Whatever you want."

"Have you tried acting? Have you ever held a boom mic before?"

"I honestly can't tell if you're kidding or not," Ben said moving in closer. "I've missed you, Joe. Pathetically so."

"Good."

Joe liked that. Liked knowing that Ben missed him. Missed this. That he'd be willing to end the job that he had been doing for so long just because he asked him to.

Maybe it was selfish and maybe Joe and Ben would find some strange middle ground so they could both get what they wanted. Right now that didn't matter. Frankie was rolling over, showing off for the two men. It was comfortable and they were content.

Reaching over, Joe took Ben's hand in his own. It was a small gesture, but it was a start. They had a lot of things they had to work through and maybe this wouldn't work at all. Maybe it would blow up in Joe's face, but for the first time in a long time, he was ready to take that risk. So he made a start.

A good start.