It was the first order meeting that she had attended since before Christmas. Lily had practically begged her to go and to 'stop avoiding' everyone. Marlene hadn't consciously chosen to distance herself from the rest of the group but when Lily showed up at her flat two months later she realized exactly how long she had been away.
"You're not answering my owls," Lily looked irritated. "I've been trying to get in touch with you for weeks. And you know that I can't get in to see you at the hospital with all the security restrictions going on. If I weren't pregnant I probably would have had James blast me with a couple of stun spells so that I could get admitted and talk to you."
"I've been pretty busy," Marlene felt guilty. It wasn't a complete lie. She had been busy with the program, but she also knew that she could have put more effort into replying to Lily's messages. In truth, she really just didn't feel like socializing or being reminded of how badly her relationship with Sirius was failing.
"That's a poor excuse and you know it," Lily called her out. "There's an Order meeting tonight and I want you to come with me."
"I don't know if that's a good idea," Marlene said slowly. She had forgotten about her conversation with Dumbledore at the previous meeting in which she had promised to try harder with persuading her Uncle Tom. Sirius's disappearance had pushed that to the far corners of her mind, and she hadn't even bothered to give it further thought.
It wasn't as if she didn't want to help the Order, because she did. But she couldn't help the inner voice that told her she wasn't good enough. Every time she had tried to help she had only been a hindrance. It wasn't easy to forget the way that her friends had treated her during the fights she had been a part of; first in Hogsmeade, and then again in Northern Watford. She just wasn't cut out to be a part of it all.
"You don't have to fight you know," Lily said as if reading her mind. "You know that it's just as important to do the behind the scenes work that Albus has asked of you."
"I don't know how," Marlene admitted. "He's been pretty firm and I don't know how to get him to change his mind without tearing apart the only family I have left."
However, that didn't seem to sit well with Lily.
"We're your family too," she said pointedly.
"I didn't mean it like that," Marlene sighed. "Look Lily, I don't want to fight with you. That's all I ever seem to be doing anymore. I can't handle one more person looking down on me with disappointment."
"I don't want to fight with you," Lily looked at her sadly. "I know Sirius doesn't want to fight with you either."
"Has he said something?" Marlene scowled. Of course Lily probably saw him more than she did these days. A feeling of bitterness filled within her.
"No," she replied. "I can just see it. Or at least, I did. I haven't seen you in almost two months so I have no idea what's going on. But by the way you never seem to be around I figure that you probably haven't seen him in a while either."
"I haven't," Marlene felt the surge of tears begin to collect in the corners of her eyes. She refused to let them fall though; she had shed far too many tears lately, and she wasn't prepared to do it with Lily watching.
"He'll be there tonight," Lily smiled hesitantly. "I know he'd be happy to see you come."
"So you've moved from trying to guilt me to bribery?" Marlene cracked a small smile. She would be lying if she didn't perk up to the idea of finally getting to see him. She had last seen him three weeks ago and they had only spoken twice through the enchanted mirror since then.
"Whatever I have to do, Mar," Lily returned her smile. "Will you come then?"
Marlene noted that Lily was watching her expectantly and likely wouldn't take no for an answer. She exhaled deeply. She wasn't entirely certain what she would say to Dumbledore when she saw him that evening but she pushed that thought away to contemplate later.
"Okay, but I'm bringing Emmeline."
**
A/N: Hmm I wonder what Emmeline will think of all this. Do you think she's been oblivious or is she smart enough to piece it all together?
And Sirius...I can't wait to see him just as much as Marlene I think!
Please leave a comment or vote if you enjoyed reading! ❤️
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A Marauder's Guide to Falling Apart
Fanfiction"So we're alone," he said slowly. "That's a thoughtful observation," she whispered. She could feel her fingertips tremble slightly as they clasped around his hair. She didn't know why she suddenly felt so nervous. She moved her hands and allowed her...
