Becoming "Forever Yours"

Ch. 13 Love.

I didn't have any nightmares that night.

Instead, I could only see bright eyes, smell the tinge of leather, and hear one word above all else. Doll.

"Gwen!" I jumped up from my sleep. But she was not in the night of my room, no. We had parted ways earlier, and I was uncertain if I would ever see those caramel eyes again.

She had told me so many things, things I would've never thought possible or real, had I never met her. How there were vampires and other beings, how she was experimented on for the sake of science, how someone like her.. could actually love someone like me.

She had also did something unique for me, yet again. I wasn't sure how, I'd probably never know, but she healed some of my wounds. Some you could see, some you couldn't. My eye wasn't as discolored anymore and the cut above my lip was nearly gone.

But what I felt most was the unburdening of my pain onto someone else. And that someone else freeing me from it. Wanting to, feeling as if they didn't, it would only ruin them. She had relinquished me of so much mental pain, there would be no way to ever thank her for it. But I could try, I wanted to.

I wanted to see her smile everyday, to hear her laugh without the tears. I wanted to know why leather and how long she'd had her bike. I wanted to hold her like I'd done in the alley but even longer, more tightly, more often. I wanted to love her, but a part of me knew she wouldn't allow it.

Anya. The girl she'd spoken about. She was distancing herself from attachments, for fear of disappointment. Just like I had, so I couldn't be mad that she was doing the same with me. But as selfish as it may be, I didn't want that. I only wanted her to know that she was more than capable of being loved without wanting anything in return, just for her to smile forever.

I looked towards my window, noting a moonless night.

Why does my heart feel so heavy even after we've talked?

I knew something was going to happen, some change that I was apprehensive about. I didn't want her to leave the alley, I wanted it to be our spot where we'd never have to leave.

I felt my tears start coming.

I do, I love you, Gwen Clay. I could never hate you.

"You're home late."

"You're the Handler, not my mother." I dropped my bag by the door, holding onto the one thing that mattered most right now.

"The Professor-"

"Has been experimenting on me for nearly twenty years now. He can wait one night." I eyed her, knowing she wouldn't want to challenge my temper. Even he knew my limits.

"As you wish." She nodded.

"Where is Anya?"

She didn't answer me. Instead, she did something very unlike herself.. she looked damned guilty.

No.. no, please..

"Where is she?"

"Anya.. is no longer in service. I'm afraid she is another failed-"

I slammed my fist into the nearest wall. "Say it. And I'll have your vein between my teeth. We aren't another failed anything. I'll ask you one more time. Where is she?" I felt myself shaking.

"Stay calm.. You know how the Professor gets when-"

The wind picked up in the room and you could almost hear and especially feel the energy crackling off of me in waves.

"Don't do anything-"

I was to her in an instant, holding her up by the throat. The Handler might have had inhuman qualities about her, but she was far from being in my ballpark of abilities. "What has he done to her?" Even my voice wasn't my own when I was like this.

She couldn't breath to even answer, so I tossed her aside. And then.. I did what I was made for. I caused complete chaos throughout the manor. That is, until Professor came out with the one thing known to stun me temporarily. But long enough for him to lock me up.

It was what he called the Lightening Rod. I wasn't exactly sure how it worked. But whatever it was drained me as soon as the energy from it made contact with my skin. Had he not been able to shoot it from the rod at a distance, I would've made quick to lop off his head this time. For Anya. For Cyrus.

"I'll kill you. All of you! Anya was just a girl! She didn't deserve this!"

As always, he only looked at me with those bushy and white, furrowed brows. As if disappointed in me for not understanding his entrapment and torture of people.

The room I was strapped down in was like the Lightening Rod, but of course not a rod, but four walls. It was set to be triggered if I moved faster than human capability, like snapping out of my chains and running straight through the wall to get to them. And if a Lightening Rod as big as room was set off, I knew what my fate would be.

Anya.. I'm so sorry..

I felt my tears well up in my eyes. Not from being trapped here, not from being held down like a dog. All that, I was use to. But for that little girl who never had a chance. She was me. She would never be able to live a human life again, to laugh without the thought of pain, to love..

"Cole.." When I closed my eyes, I could see every detail of her face. "I'm sorry." I cried even harder, knowing I wouldn't be able to see that gorgeous face again. "I'm-"

The door to my holding room opened.

I turned my head, eyes fierce with rage. "What are you doing in here?"