Sakura Denver

ᏢᎪᏒᏆ 2

Sakura. Sakura. Sakura.

Her name constantly repeated in my mind, over and over as I tried to fall asleep that night. The beautiful girl I met under the full bloomed Sakura tree hasn't left my mind since this morning. And despite me wanting to make her mine so horribly, I knew that there was no chance I could ever see her again. I had no clue where she came from. It seemed she would forever remain the mystery girl of my dreams. But I was destined, and I knew that somehow, somewhere, I would find her again. Our paths would cross, and the same sparks would once again fly, but stronger and brighter. I pulled the covers over my head, and tried to clear the thoughts of her from my head so I could at least get some rest. And though it worked some, a remainder of her lingered in the back of my head. I closed my eyes gently, and after what seemed like forever, drifted to sleep.

As I slipped into a dreamlike state, she reappeared again, but her face was not present. She was a dark silhouette in the distance, far from reach. So, so far away. I tried to run closer to her, but I couldn't get any closer. I remained in place, and all I could do was look into the distance and admire her figure. I wanted, no, lusted to be closer to her. It felt as if I had chains bound around my ankles, weighing me down and holding me back. I had to break free, but how? This I was not sure of, but I would soon figure it out. I continued watching her from afar, when soon enough a sweet, soothing sound filled my ears. I squinted and peered to try to make out where it was coming from, and it was her. The silhouette of a violin accompanied Sakura's silhouette. It was breathtaking how well she could play. I let the sound take over my body as I let it slip into a temporary peace. 

"You're worthless!" 

"Why don't you try harder Hiro?" 

"Perfection!" 

"You want perfection don't you?"

Whack!

I heard my mother's voice repeating in my head over and over. I looked away from Sakura for a moment, and looked down at all the scars on my arms inflicted by her. The sweet sound of Sakura's playing faded, and all I could hear was yelling and banging. My breathing became unsteady and my hands began shaking. I looked up, and everything became darker. The sound of my mother's voice stopped, and Sakura's playing continued, but it was far more distorted this time. Everything continued to grow darker still. My thoughts were taking over. My mother still had control over me, but why? I gave up piano years ago when she died. Yet, it still somehow followed me.

I awoke in a heavy sweat, panting heavily. My breathing was shuttered, and my chest felt tight. I sat on the edge of my bed and looked over at my alarm clock to check the time.

2:37 A.M 

It was far too early to call my therapist, which left me with one option. As much as I hated pills, I knew I had to take my medication. My therapist had given me medication to help control my P.T.S.D when my thoughts became too much for me, or if I had night terrors like this. Occasionally, it helps, but that wasn't always the case. The medication also gives me some side effects, such as nausea, headaches, and the such, which is why I hated it so much. Usually, I end up vomiting directly after taking it. It just never seemed worth it to me, but recently I became desperate and decided to start taking it when needed. I didn't know what else to resort to. I got up and walked to the bathroom. I opened my medicine and popped one of the pills, and then walked to the kitchen for a glass of water. I held the glass under the faucet until it was full, and then quickly walked over to the window to glance outside quickly. The second I looked outside, I dropped my glass instantly. I could not believe my eyes. Thinking it was just my imagination, I didn't believe it at first, but eventually, it hit me. It really was what I thought. And with that, I ran outside, still barefoot into the darkness.