Paperwords

When I Say I Like You

I have a lot going on in my head,
But when I say Iike you,
Believe me and every word I said
With everything that makes you, you;

I'm scared to say what I really feel,
Because then you'll walk away,
And make me wish it wasn't real,
So not talking was my way;

When I say you deserve someone better,
Someone like yourself,
Trust me you should get her,
A beautiful, carefree girl , unlike myself;

I say little things matter a lot to me,
When it comes to you they do, but to you they don't,
So I understand if you don't get me,
And I know somewhere you won't;

I see that you're trying so hard,
For a piece of utter mess,
When you could have someone else not so far,
And that you won't regret;

I say you deserve better cause you really do,
I am a sappy mess that loves reading,
Someone else out there loves parties ,like you,
Maybe if you chose her you'd start believing;

I am down right terrified to say that's all in my head,
Cause I feel that once I say all I have,
You'd become someone I used to have,
And you'd find a better 'enlo'ahead;

At 1:20 a.m. I write this to you ,
Knowing that maybe even this doesn't matter,
When I say I like you,
I mean let you deserve better;

I like meaningful talks and no grand gestures,
I sit miles away from your crying,
Crying while I write this poetry as a letter,
A letter to you of all things I'm thinking;

I'm scared that you'd become someone I used to know,
Once you really get to know me,
My deepest darkest insecurities will glow,
And somehow my mind believes you'd leave me;

It's funny how scared I am of you leaving,
Cause it's usually me who leaves,
And with tears down my eyes and my brain screaming,
'stop you're gonna drive him away, he will leave';

I say you deserve better because you do,
I say I like you more than you like me cause I really do ,

I like you so much that the image of that someone better tears me up inside,
I like you so much that I'm crying while writing this,
I like you so much that it hurts to see you hurt,
I like you so much that it it hurts to hear that you think I don't want it;

I want it so much more than you do,
But Im sacred that our differences would get the better of us
But I'm still terrified to my core,
To one day think you're going to leave;

I like you so much... I can't confine it to mere words,..

I want to lay underneath the starlit sky,
With you by my side,
Staring at the shooting stars passing by,
As I talk about more nonsense I hold inside;

I want you to be so happy,
I want you to know that I understand,
I want you to know you completely have me,
Completely stripped to the core,here I stand;

I really want this to work,
And when you said you're different,
It honestly hurt,
Cause I'm scared youd see me the way I see my worth;

I like you so much that I would still understand,
If you chose to walk away,
Leaving my hand,
To hold another that would keep you happier along the way ;

I'm sorry I can't be the prettiest girl for you,
I'm sorry i can't be there for you,
I'm sorry that I like you;

I may have many friends or whatever,
I may have many guys after me,
But I want you to be my forever,
I want you to stay by me;

But If you choose to leave after this,
I'd still understand,
Just remember this,
I like you more than anyone else out there can;

So with tears in my eyes, nearing 2,
I write this to you,
I really like you, so so so so so so much more,
More than you think I do ;

It hurt me when you said I keep saying the same thing,
Understand, its what my head full of doubts makes me believe,
Not that I believe it ,
But sometimes I do no doubt ;

My mind makes me believe I'm not good enough for you,
I'm not pretty enough for you,
I'm not deserving of you;

If you think I don't care, I care so much more,
If you think I don't like like you!
Oh that's a fucking joke!
I might just even eventually love you;

I don't want you to leave,
But I'd understand after this you did,
Who wouldn't want to leave,
A broken mess of unuttered words indeed;

I question why you stick by me,
Because I marvel at the fact that you do,
Because I feel like such a horrendous hideous girl,
I'm surprised you still do;

I know I wrote to much just like I think too much,
But I hate that stupid filter I need to have,
When I say 'okay'and I really want to call and scream at you,
When I say I like you I really want to give you the tightest and longest hug to prove it,
But I can't cause of the dumb filters and the distance;

I know you don't send me pictures but when you do,
Once in a blue moon I'd go back and look at it,
And think oh my lord this dude,
Cannot be allowed to be this cute;

I don't know what you think of this,
But I want you to be all mine,
Trust me I'm no sappy bitch, I can't believe I'm writing this,
But I want you to be mine and just mine;