Three Wishes: Hongnan

When I Was Seven Years Old

Rated PG. Warnings: gender and body dsysphoria

You are only seven when the new neighbors move in, but you still know their daughter is the most prettiest girl in the whole big, wide world.

You meet her for real later that afternoon, after you and your parents go over to welcome the new neighbors. She was too tired from the trip to come to the door when you visited, but a while later, while you're practicing balancing on one foot outside on the stump left from the old dying tree Baba cut down earlier that year, a whisper comes through the short wooden fence between your gardens.

"Psst!"

You look up. The pretty girl you saw helping the grownups earlier is there. Her hair is sleek and pulled up in a shiny bun, and her eyes twinkle like stars. Your smile must be bright as sunshine, because how could it be anything else, looking at someone so pretty. She grins back.

"My name's Xun," she says, no longer whispering, but voice still soft, like she's telling you a precious secret. She knocks on one of the wooden slats and you go to her, leaning in so close your noses might touch. She inches her finger and her thumb through the gap between you, holding a small, shiny stone.

"Look," she says. "Treasures!"

Now, you know these shiny stones are everywhere, in gardens and backyards and strewn along the streams and the countryside, but you didn't know they were treasures! You gesture Xun to follow you to the little gate Mama and Baba used to go through when they visited the old neighbors, and probably will again once they get to know the new ones. You have to stand all the way on your tippy toes and reach real high to get enough leverage to swing the latch, but when you do, Xun peeks around the fence like she's afraid she'll get in trouble if she steps through.

"My name's Hongyu," you say, and instead of laughing like the other kids do when the 's' whistles through the gap where you lost your tooth, Xun smiles and bows, a giddy caricature of your parents. You bow back, like Mama taught you.

"We have lots of treasures over here!" you grin when you straighten.

Xun claps and takes your hands, and she leans in and whispers conspiratorially, "Since it's your land, I'll share it with you."

And you know, without a doubt, that you are going to marry her someday.

---

You're eight when Baba has to cut the second tree down. There's rot in the roots, he says, and if he doesn't cut it down now, it could get blown right out of the ground in a storm. Your swing is in that tree, but don't worry, Baba says, he'll put it up in the other one.

Now you'll only have one tree left.

Xun comes over and holds your hand as you stand on a chair in your bare feet and peer out the kitchen window while your Baba and Xun's Baba get to work. Every time you sniffle, or gasp, or whimper, Xun squeezes a little harder.

"Your hair looks really pretty today," Xun finally whispers.

Your eyes finally break from the work on the tree and you turn to look at her. It's finally growing out, now. It was so short for so long and it was miserable, and you hated it, but now, finally, you look like the girl you told your parents you were last year. The girl you always have been.

"Hongyu?" Xun continues. Her cheeks are bright pink and she's biting her bottom lip. Her hair is in two buns, one on either side of her head, tied up in pretty red ribbons.

"Yeah?" you ask.

"You're a girl, right?"

Your heart seizes in your chest. Mama and Baba told you people don't care about that kind of thing. Were they just trying to make you feel better?