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。。。
"i didn't leave because i stopped loving you, i left because the longer i stayed the less i loved myself"
so he does it, he pulls out his suit case and he begins packing, as he's going through his belongings he picks up an old polaroid
in the picture it's all three of them squished together smiling, he remembers that day...
he'd originally worn a striped sweater that day, jimin didn't like it
"i don't think that sweater suits you very much...here put this on."
and he listened
another time they'd all gone out to eat he'd originally wanted to have pasta but taehyung told him something different
"maybe you should eat something lighter, you've been gaining a bit..."
one time he wanted to go out with seokjin and yoongi for drinks, but jungkook wasn't fond of the idea
"joon, i promise you if you go out with them tonight, i won't be here when you get home, i won't be here forever after that."
isolation, manipulation, feeling powerless, being lied to over and over again, not being prioritized, being told there's something wrong with him..
he has to do this, for himself, for the tiny being inside him
。。。
he didn't expect them to even notice him making his, hopefully, final exit
"what's with the suitcase love?" taehyung ask curiously
"im leaving"
"what do you mean your leaving, where the fuck you going" said jungkook, namjoon couldn't ignore the fear and intimidation he felt from the younger raising his voice
"im leaving for good... i can't live like this any more"
he tries to reach for the door but his wrist is grabbed by the relentless younger male, he held onto him so tightly he was sure he'd bruise
"whose ever gonna love you the way we did huh?" the younger male is in his face now, stormy eyes on his, nostrils flaring in fury
it's silent, the sounds of jungkook harshly breathing is the only thing that could be heard in the place he once called home, jimin and taehyung standing not so far away watching solemnly
"love me? all three of you stopped loving me a long time ago" he snatched his wrist back with little resistance from jungkook who was shocked at his words or perhaps shocked from his defiance
why does he look so confused at the truth? is it not the truth?
before things can escalate further the door is being knocked on profusely, namjoon quickly answers it before jungkook can oppose
it's hoseok
he looks at the distress in namjoons eyes, the anger in jungkooks face, he takes note of the odd silence of taehyung and jimin, the tense atmosphere
he says nothing but he does grab namjoon by his hand
hoseoks hands are soft like fuzzy socks
like the clouds he'd touched in his dreams
like the scented teddy bear his grandma gave him when he was a boy
namjoon feels safe, he leaves, for good
。。。
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