I locked myself in my bathroom. I'm not worthy of being seen, heard, talked to, of breathing. I want to stay in here forever. I don't want to go out. I don't belong with my family. They're sensible, they are smart, I'm not. I lose everything I touch. Mom belittles me for everything I do. Dad gets frustrated. Do they love me..The 'suprise'. The unwanted child. Wasting money. Wasting air. Wasting everything. On the 'suprise'. They could've have been happy . Stable. Then I came along. I am a mistake. I AM. Nobody can refute that. I wish I was never born. I'm surprised that they even kept me. Why would they bring someone up again when they already have two good children. Smarter. Better. Children. I don't understand. I cause grief. Does no one understand that!? I. Cause. Grief. Sorrow and despair. I'm losing friends. Family. Soon myself. I'm still in the bathroom. I want to cry until my death. They won't care. I bet. No one can refute it. No one can refute. No one. No one can. I'm selfish. Greedy. Annoying. Doesn't everyone understand that!? I'm sure they do. I lost the people I cared about. I lost the people I loved. I lost the people that CARED about me. I lost everyone. There's nothing left for me. Nothing. No objection. I'm sure. I've already lost everyone I loved. I now know I lost myself. Long ago. I want to lose this body. Pathetic shit. Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic. Why hasn't someone given me the rope!!!!???
I quit. I don't want to do this. I quit. I quit everything. There's nothing left for me here. Shut up and accept that already. I QUIT.
