"No one here would even know that I'm alone. It's quiet as if it's someone that did not exist at all." - Dalchong of CHEEZE
#####
Her memories came in bits.
Her reason to live was gone.
Her life was falling apart.
She was all alone.
And she did...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
It's nightfall when Chaeyoung decides to board a bus back to her apartment. Since it isn't too far from the school, she can easily choose to walk but the voice, her voice, is against it, so she obeys.
She leans her head against the window and stares out of the moving bus. The neighborhood passes by in slow motion. The few passengers pay no attention to the lone girl. Chaeyoung turns around to look at the empty seats behind her and sighs because this time, she feels almost no pain when a vivid image swims into her mind.
It shows the same couple nestling at the far end of the bus seats. Wearing Chaeyoung's bomber jacket as a blanket, Mina rests her head on Chaeyoung's broad shoulders, inhaling her scent with every breath she takes, letting her warmth engulfed her slim frame of a body; while Chaeyoung wraps an arm around her sleeping girlfriend, watching her in peace and feels like she is falling in love for Mina over again. Her heart is playing somersaults. The moment is serene. It's like the world has stopped spinning. Chaeyoung remembers that was when she vowed to protect Mina at all cost.
In the end, she fails. And she doesn't know why.
The bus comes to a halt at the bus stand nearby her apartment, waking Chaeyoung from her reverie. After paying the conductor, she stepped off from the warm bus into the cold weather, the change of temperature sends a shiver down her spine.
Something doesn't feel right and her fingers hesitantly reach her face. To her surprise, there are dried tears and she doesn't even know that she's silently crying in the bus. Darkness swarms her as her heart wrenches at the thought of how she doesn't know all the reasons, how she can't find Mina. Where is Mina? Why can't she find her? Why does she keep hearing her voice yet she can't see her? She feels as hopeless as a man stranded in a tiny island in the midst of the dark ocean. With faltering steps, she clutches the metal pole of an erected sign and fell to her knees, crying even harder. The tears keep falling, she can't stop it no matter how hard she tries to.
She leans against the pole, waiting for her sobs turn to hiccups. Her arms fall limply beside her fragile body and her eyes staring off the dark velvety river. The silver moon glints in reflection. Mina is the moon and Chaeyoung is the river. The reflection of the moon is the only beautiful thing that has ever existed to the depressing waters at night.
But now, the moon is nowhere to be seen so the waters remain dark and eerie.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
With an appetite as tiny as an ant, Chaeyoung makes herself a cup of ramyeon at the nearest convenience store. She eats her noodles in a robotic manner. She can't fathom how anything can ever be tasty again, if the person she is supposed to eat with, is now gone. Indeed, she remembers Mina pulling her into the same convenience store to eat ramyeon for supper. She will beg her to buy ice-cream after that with a pair of puppy eyes and her full blast gummy smile. Chaeyoung will gladly comply. She has fallen head over heels for Mina, how can she can ever resist her? Then, Mina sits on Chaeyoung's lap as they cuddle, soaking themselves in each other's warmth, eating spoonfuls of their ice-cream, looking out at the river from their window seat in silence. Chaeyoung plays with Mina's hair, feeling the soft texture under her fingers, as she listens intently to Mina chirping away about her dreams and their future.
Which none are fulfilled. Chaeyoung is left alone. Here she is, chucking down the hot soup, letting it burns her throat.
