The Last Letters Of Vanessa

letter sixteen

TRIGGER WARNING - SUICIDE
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dear you,

this is my last letter.

i hope you're happy or you have a sense of accomplishment for getting through these letters.

i had hope. i really did.

but not in a way where i believed i would get better. oh, no.

but in a way where i believed you'd change.

you'd change and not destroy the people who have problems, just for your entertainment.

i remember when we were friends, or perhaps even more. when i rested my head on your shoulder, everything else was blurry and i was so caught up in your eyes and your scent of sandalwood and dreams, i forgot how to breathe. i remember the intoxicating feel of your smile. i remember our kiss, the movement of your soft lips on mine and the way you tugged on my hair as if it was the only thing which kept you sane.

i remember.

and you changed, but you changed me too.

it is as simple as that.

so as i'm writing this letter, my tears mix with the blue ink that is bleeding on this paper, along with my heart.

i'd like to think that i haven't died of slitting my wrists to bleed to death, but rather, slitting my wrists to allow all the sadness to bleed out.

i hope your mind doesn't slowly destroy itself, because as much as i loathe you, i would never wish that upon someone.

so, Julian, thank you for reading all the way,

the sadness will last forever.

vanessa rose
19th september 2016