The Feeders

20 - Not Even Your Boyfriend

I feel a deep despair. The Retrievers are gone and I'm back inside with my brother. Outside of my family, there is only a few people I care about. Jamie, who left town with her family when all of this started, and Zachary are at the top of that list. They're my best friends--and in Zachary's case, we'd almost been more. I have always assumed that one day we would be more. But he's sick and his family has sent him to that horrible place where they go and never come back. Lambs sent to a slaughterhouse. These sick ones are weak. They're ignorant to what is really going on. They've got no idea that these people will exterminate them the moment they get the chance to determine their deaths. As soon as your heart stops, by law, you are dead. They won't care if Zachary is still walking, still striving somehow. They'll drop him without a care. They're as bloodthirsty as any Z.

"We can't leave him there," I say for the twentieth time.

"Janis," Salem says. He's got that tender sound in his voice that I don't like at all. "He's probably already been killed."

He says it gently, but I feel the punch of the words all the same. It's a gut blow that makes my tummy flip and my heart skip a beat. No, it can't be.

"But what if he's not? What if he's just sick? What if he's in there with one of them when they go all Z? What if—"

"What if he's dead, Jan? What if we get caught?" Salem grabs my cheeks in his palms to hold my head still. While he looks in my eyes. "We cannot risk it. We could lose everything we've worked for. The killing, the lying, hiding, risking our own lives, it would all be for nothing."

What if we lost everything? Was Zachary worth it? Zachary, whose smile I could see even behind that ridiculous mask. It's the kind of smile that always shows in his eyes. It makes them brighter. In an alternate universe, we could be at the theater, watching Z's on a B horror flick instead of in real life. We'd be safe. There would be no sickness or containment. How could his family let this happen? How could they let them take him away?

"I can't just do nothing." I push Salem's hands away. They're warm and healthy and not Zachary's and they're annoying me. "Yeah, he might be dead. If I do nothing, he will die in there."

"Stop. He's not even your boyfriend."

"Salem, that's not fair. You know why he's not. This whole thing happened...mom and dad got sick, I couldn't risk—"

"I know." Salem has gone quieter. He feels guilty for that last comment, and he should. 

He knows darn well that Zachary and I have the kind of relationship that has been teetering on more for ages. I had to step way back when mom and dad got sick, so Zachary wouldn't get suspicious about them. I should have just trusted him, but it's too late for 'should have.' I've got to do this so there isn't another 'should have' in the future, and if I hope to be at all successful, I need Salem on my side. 

"I'm sure if you thought about it hard enough, you could come up with a plan that won't get us caught," I said, because playing the flattery card doesn't hurt at all. 

Somehow, Salem still looked pained. "What if he wanted to be there? His brother is a Retriever. His whole family might be conformed to that government malarkey."

It'll only end if we let it. Zachary's words are still there in my mind. I can practically hear his chipper voice saying them. He's such a positive person. 

"No. He would never give up," I say, and I'm sure.

But Salem isn't sure. "We just can't risk it, Janis. Please understand."

"I don't understand." I'm growing more frustrated and I can't keep it from spilling out. "I help you do this!" I wave my hand toward the basement door and toward where our parents are below. "But you can't help me?"

"Keeping mom and dad safe is just as much for you as it is for me, you know that. Most importantly, it's for them. And if we get caught, they'll die and all of this is for nothing!"

I hear the chains rattle below. Growls. He got too loud and they're getting excited at the human noises.

"Then find a way that won't get us caught," I say stubbornly.

"Fine." Salem's face tightens into his serious look. "I'll give it a fair try. Okay? That's all I can promise."

"In the meantime, mom still needs to eat..."