My phone is being a bitch and messing up everything -_-
Anyways let's begin.
*Christian's pov*
Ever since I was young I've been bullied. The bullies wont leave me alone. This has been happening since I was 8. I'm 18 now. I started self-harming when I was 12 and I'm still doing it up to this day. My father committed suicide when I was 13, a year after I started cutting. He committed suicide when he saw how upset I was. I guess he didn't want to see me like that. I've just gotten worse since he killed himself. Both of my parents loved me but my mom blames me for my father killing himself and I suppose it is my fault. She didn't like me after that. If I did something wrong she'd slap me, and her boyfriend would see and then he'd beat the crap out of me. Her boyfriend always beat the shit out of me when I got home from school. And on top of that, there are still bullies. I'm very quiet and shy. I don't have any friends either. My mom or one of her boyfriends would always stop me from killing myself, not because they cared, just because they like to make my life hell. I hate it when people yell, I always have nightmares, I always apologize even if its not my fault, I don't eat because I'm fat, and an awful human like me deserves this. I deserve to be alone and miserable. I don't deserve to be dead. I deserve to be punished. I'd have to die a slow, painful death. I don't deserve to have a roof over my head. I deserve to live outside where its cold and rainy. I don't deserve this bed. I don't deserve anything but pain. Hot tears run down my face as I think about it. I'm tired but I hate nightmares.
I think as a fall asleep, I'm cuddled into my pillow. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm sorry its so crappy and short but I'm really tired cause I've been up since 5 am and I didn't go to sleep until 1 am (ish) so I'm really tired. Goodnight <3
