sign {h.s.}

hoofdstuk vijfendertig

"MOM," I WHINE, rolling my eyes at my mother's futile attempts to delay my leaving. "I'm going to be late to Keenan's party." Aware that I am whining now, I do little to stop the whinge from my voice. I capitalize on it, pouting out my bottom lip and fluttering my lashes at her, attempting to guilt her into letting me leave early as I had told her I was going to do all along.

In the back of my mind, I understand her hesitancy. She doesn't want me to leave Jace's family's Christmas party early. They've been having this party for as long as I've been alive and I've never once left early. No one ever leaves early. Leaving is commenced the next morning because, when we were younger and couldn't drive, leaving at the end of the night was not an option for our intoxicated parents.

The Christmas party is a gathering spot for all of my dad's friends. Some of the younger kids are running around chasing each other with toys that they'd received as early Christmas presents. The wives are sitting on the couches in the living room, sipping wine and gossiping about their husbands while the group of my father's friends are standing around the bar that David had just added to the house. Everyone is drinking together; heavily.

My mother surveys this with a hesitancy. I can tell that she doesn't want me to go but more than that I can tell that she doesn't want to engage in the fight of begging me to stay. "Okay," she finally says warily. "Drive safe, okay? Text me when you get there."

I nod my head and turn on my heels, opting to make a quick exit before my mother can change her mind. But, before I get the chance, my mother's hand wraps around my shoulder and holds me in my spot. "Say goodbye to everyone." There's a judgmental raise in her eyebrow, a sort of challenging dare to disobey.

Sighing, I nod my head. I make my way to the group of wives first, interrupting right in the middle of the gossip. "I'm heading out," I inform them, leaning down to hug them before I get sucked into the conversation. "Thanks so much for having me. It was so nice seeing you all."

Pulling away from them, I move in on Jace and Nina. Positioned in the corner with my brothers, I give them a halfhearted wave. "I'm going to Keenan's party now," I inform them unceremoniously. All night, my brothers and near-cousins had been very informed of my plans.

"Ohhhh," Caleb mockingly sings, nudging Jace in the side. "The same Keenan that you like."

This catches Jace's attention, suddenly straightening up in his chair. "I did not know that sweet little Cassidy had a crush!"

"Yeah, sweet little Cassidy doesn't know how Caleb knows either. I only told," I trail off, looking around the room, my eyes settling on my mother who quickly averts her attention—trying to not make it obvious that she had been listening in. "Of course."

Everyone laughs at my embarrassment, but quickly shrugs it off. Instead, they all get up to hug me goodbye.

I head in the direction of the final group: my father and all of his friends crowded around the bar, boisterous and laughing at a joke I'd not heard. Before I reach them, my mother cuts me off in the middle, shoving at ten dollar bill in my hand. "Stop at Hilliard's and get some chocolate for Christi. It's rude to show up without a gift for the host," she says to me, folding the money in my hand. My crush on Keenan was backed by my mother's consent; she's good friends with his mother. Keenan's younger brother and Connor had played on the same hockey team several years back and it had been an excuse for the two of them to get close.

"Want to throw in some more so I can get some chocolate, too?" I bat my eyelashes at her, pleading my case silently.

"Fat chance," my mother immediately denies me, stepping aside.