Bonded With Tears (7)

:: Comfort ::

When I've been ripped apart
For amusement
By the evil in this world
That you don't realise is ever there

It's lurking in the shadows
Just behind you
The sun beaming brilliant in your eyes
But the darkness swoops in
Slowly
Like a sunset

You don't even notice the change
That the purple engulfs into black
And there's no escape

Abused for fun
You'd never think it
You'd never realise
Too busy, staring at the sun
The positives in the world
To know the negatives were ever there

The light leaves patterns
Of trust
Making you believe
All the world is good

...

Only your little pocket of this world is good
You built it for yourself
But a word of advice
Don't move a muscle

You can trust people
You know you shouldn't
Lean on people
With razor blade shoulders
Hug people
With a battle axe belt
Open up to people
With flames in their words
Shark teeth in their smiles

It's so easy to fall into
I was blind
But now I see this darkness
This special kind of evil

I can try to dissociate myself
From all these people
But these people
Are everyone

I was starting to think
They don't fit in
In this kind, loving, supportive world
But the reality
Is
I don't fit in
In this manipulative, satanic, sordid world

Tear apart my spleen
Have it for lunch

I can fight all I want
Unleash my inner strength
Fight
I can't flee

I'll fire steel bullets all day long
It'll bounce back off their thick armour
Built up from a life time
Of not caring
Of twisting innocent minds
Of hereditary vexation
It will only bounce back
Strike me
They'll just smile

They know they're winning
They like to see others fall around them

But I could trust them
I thought
I thought
For so long

Life is fucking complicated

You think you have the high ground
Your morals, persistence, popularity
Rises you on a mountain
High above everything
Pride yet modesty
The subtle knowledge that you're right

It's only my perception
My failed failed failed perception
Staring at the sunny goodness
Made my eyes bleed

They have the high ground

So I guess I'm a failure
In every sense of the word
And they let me know it

In times like these

When I have the courage and willpower
To fight
Yet get knocked odd the mountian
In a single flick

When I have confidence and strength
To stand by what I believe in
My principles are shredded
Like pathetic post it notes

I keep trying
They want me to try
They want to wind me up in a circle
Lead me to the edge of a cliff
With hope of victory
And make me drop

It's tough
But who will listen?

In times like these,
All I can do is melt away
Even then I'm a failure

In
These
Times

All
The
Times

I find comfort
Knowing that
I felt good before
I can feel good again

I can't distance myself
I know I have to flee
Even though I run a mile
They take a step
They're right there

I have to find comfort
Knowing that at least
Once in my life
I was happy

And that tiny period of happiness
I felt
Is more that any of them can ever say
They can
Abuse
Lie
Operate
Manhandle
Twist
Break
Crush
They can have their fun

But they've never felt
How I've felt
I've led a successful life
I've been happy

They're all hiding
In their clam shells
They built from their tears
A facade
A facade
Impossible to break

It's not the kind of justice
Retribution
I was wishing for

But it's a little something I can keep with me
Through the darkness
The burning at the stake
When they crucify

Man
They burn me
Skin layers melting
Crackling, burning flesh,
Internal juices oozing
Toenails splintering
Tearing me up from the inside
Blood vessels collapsing
Every single capillary
Every one of my cells
Dying dying death
They
Kill
Me

Every god damn time

...

...

But...
That tiny bit of knowledge
Is at least something
One minuscule little thing
I find comfort in