Perilune

Chapter 9

When Amaris returned, both women paid close attention to the other's expression.  Amaris was relieved to see fear had left Lyra's eyes for good.  Lyra was surprised not to see shame or disgust in Amaris's. 

"I had the servant bring more food for you." Amaris affixed her gaze firmly on her path to the table, chiding herself for the faint flush across her cheeks.  She knew she had no right to feel such a way for Lyra, and wished that was enough to quiet her heart. 

"I haven't finished the last tray," Lyra said, glancing guiltily at the delicacies her appetite had wasted.  She wondered if she should finish her leftovers first, as they were hardly altered by the time they had sat, and agonized that would only guarantee the new offerings went to waste. 

"It's old.  This is fresh."  Amaris shoved the tray aside as if it was now rancid, replacing it with a tray towering in roasted potatoes, vegetables, and exquisite cuts of steak cooked to perfection.

"Thank you, Amaris."  At the sound of her name Amaris glanced up at Lyra and gave her a warm smile.  Lyra felt herself melt a little as she took her seat in front of the offerings.  Both women turned their faces to conceal the longing upon them. 

As she ate, Lyra tried to decipher the spice mix which made the vegetables so delightful.  Tasting grief as she realized she would never have an opportunity to attempt duplication of the recipe anyway, she tried not to think of it further.

"Do not thank me.  It is the least I can do, and it does not begin to make up for your being locked in a monster's cage."  Sadness demolished her smile, her eyes still avoiding Lyra's as she plucked a few strips of bacon off the old platter and placed her full attention on eating them. 

"You're not a monster, Amaris."

"That's very sweet of you to say." 

"I'm not just saying it.  I mean it."

"If you could see me in such a light it only demonstrates why you don't deserve to be trapped in darkness."

Lyra tried to catch Amaris's eyes, but they were firmly affixed on the wall across from her as she took a partially eaten peach from the tray of leftovers.  Absently biting it in half, Amaris didn't seem to notice she was eating the pit as well.  The look on Amaris's face threatened sympathetic tears, which Lyra hoped the reassurance in her voice would quell.  "I don't mind being here."

"That is a lie," Amaris said as she glared at the sparse room; while the clouds had made the sunset a thing of beauty, they eclipsed the moon and the stars, leaving an empty blackness above the grey cell, which was now lit only by the torches.

"You're not the reason this place is unpleasant," Lyra clarified.

"I am the reason this place is a tomb.  Even you have faced my wrath..." Her expression grew uncomfortable in a moment of silence, "I... realize words will not undo my behavior in the past.  You need not forgive.  You deserve to hear an apology regardless... I am truly sorry.  I have been vile to you, and you did not deserve it."

"I'm willing to move past that."

Analytical confusion overcame Amaris's face as her gaze finally fell back upon Lyra, "What do you mean?"

"I guess I understand, at least a little.  The sort of things you've gone through... they don't leave you as you are.  Parts of you break and fade away.  You find a way to survive but your methods fail you in safety.  It's hard to believe anyone could want anything other than to hurt you.  Your actions were terrible.  But I understand what pushed you to that point.  That you wouldn't have done any of it if humans had just left you alone."