Gently

Shoebox

When I barged into the apartment later that night, I made a beeline for the kitchen and gulped down two glasses of water. There was a cotton ball in my throat but I refused to shed tears for Anwar. Placing my hands against the counter, I leaned against it and closed my eyes.

Two fucking years. I wasted two years on that cheating bastard.

"Is everything okay?" Zane asked, pulling off his glasses and raising his eyebrows. He was sitting on the couch with papers spread in front of him on the coffee table. Gone Girl was playing on the TV but the volume was so low that I couldn't hear any sound.

"Just peachy," I replied, eyeing the take-out bags that sat beside the sink. After tonight's fiasco, I could really go for something savory. "What's that?" I didn't want to talk about my ex right now, especially with Zane.

"I bought some chicken alfredo for you," he said, returning back to the papers in front of him.

I pulled open the bags. My mouth watered when the heavenly scent hit my nostrils. This was exactly what I needed. "Have you eaten already?" I asked Zane, looking up at him.

He shook his head and bit his lip, keeping his eyes on the file in his hands. "Not yet. I will after I do some work."

I rolled my eyes and then crossed my arms. "Tell me something, Hendrick." He hummed in response and then met my gaze. "Did you put gas in your car this morning?"

He opened his mouth and then closed it again. Squinting his eyes at my words, he said, "well...yeah, I did."

"What would happen if you didn't put gas in your car next week?" While he pondered where I was going with this, I grabbed two plates from the cabinet.

"It wouldn't work," he said, furrowing his eyebrows.

"How do you expect your body to function without fuel," I said, placing a plate in front of him before plopping onto the ground beside the table. "Eat now. Work later."

Zane let out a long sigh before giving me a tired smile. Without uttering a word, he collected the papers and organized them into a neat pile. We ate in silence for a few minutes before it got to me. I surfed through the channels in search of something good to watch, preferably a good Western. "Are you sure you're okay?" Zane asked.

"Depends. Do you have any Western movies in that movie collection?" I responded, pointing to the rack full of CDs that stood beside the TV.

He chuckled in response. "Ah. I heard about your obsession with cowboys." My cheeks burned. I wondered how much he knew about my cowboy-mania. 

While other kids in grade school were fangirling over Taylor Lautner, I was freaking out over actors like Clint Eastwood. A lot of the porn that I watched in high school featured cowboys.

"What can I say? There is something about a man on a horse that just gets to me," I snickered.

Zane threw his head back and howled. "That's good to know.  I should look into buying a horse then."

Frowning, I took a sip of my water. "You don't need to do that." My words sounded more bitter than I had intended them to. After that, we kept our eyes on the TV and didn't say anything to each other.

"I don't want you to feel like I'm forcing you to stay here." I was sitting near the corner of the coffee table but I could still smell his strong cologne. I blinked at him, mulling over his statement.

Even if I wanted to leave, where would I go? My mom made it clear that she didn't want me at her house and there was no space at Hannah's house for me.

"Ouch, Hendrick. If you want me to leave so badly, just ask." I laughed but it lacked sincerity.

He shook his head and brushed his fingers against his earlobe. "That's not what I meant. I like having you around." He paused as he pushed the food around on his plate. "At least when you're not breaking things or getting us banned from grocery stores." His eyes were bright and filled with humour.

I gasped dramatically. "I was going to say that you're not too bad yourself but now I'm not so sure."

"Maybe I could change your mind with some chicken alfredo," he said, lifting his plate up as his eyes met mine.

My smile faltered. "You have her eyes, you know?"

He glanced away as his shoulders sagged. "I used to think it was a blessing," he whispered. "Now it feels more like a curse. Every time I look in the mirror, I'm reminded of her."

Suddenly an idea struck me.

There was a shoebox that I shoved under the couch a few days ago. It contained pictures from my childhood. Without thinking I pulled it out and placed it on the table. Zane gave me a baffled look, clearly confused about how it got under the couch.

Digging through the box, I found the photograph I was looking for. It was a picture of Kat with a wide smile across her face, holding a tiny bundle. This was one of the few pictures I had of Zane. "She asked me to make three copies of the original photo. This is one of the copies." I only kept one because Kat looked so beautiful in it. He took it from me and studied it intently before running his thumb across his mother's face.

"She gave me one of the copies." He let out a heavy breath but was unable to get rid of the tension from his body. "She was so beautiful. I miss her," he said softly. I lightly brushed my fingers across his hand.

"She was so proud of you," I said, trying to meet his eyes but he was looking at my hand. Sighing, I pulled it away and put my clasped hands together in my lap.

"There is one thing I don't understand," I whispered.

"And what is that?" he asked, dropping the picture back into the box.

"Why did Kat think we would be good for each other?" The question dripped with sullenness and Zane didn't answer at first. "We're so different. You are kind and gentle, while I'm a total bitch. I'm loud and angry. I like getting in peoples' faces."

He leaned against the couch and looked up at the ceiling. "I'm different in the courtroom, you know? I'm exactly all those things when I have to argue my case."

"But when you're in court, you're playing a role. It's almost like you're pretending to be someone else."

He nodded as he folded his hands behind his head. "Kind of like you when you're dancing." What he said struck a chord in me. Last year, the studio put on a dance recital in which I was a delicate and gentle fairy. I was playing a role, just like Zane did when he stepped into the courtroom. "Maybe we aren't so different after all."

"Perhaps that's true."

"My co-worker's daughter recently got accepted into med school. He invited us to his house for a small get-together." Us. He said "us", which meant that he told his friends about me. I felt guilty for a split second because only three people in my life knew about Zane: Mom, Hannah, and my ex. "Would you like to go?" I should say no, make up some random excuse related to school.

"Will there be vodka?" I asked instead, picking up our empty plates.

"Maybe there will be," he replied with a shrug.

"I'll check my schedule then."

|| Author's Note ||

What do you guys think about this chapter? It's meant to be a real turning point in their relationship. 

Thanks again for reading. Have a great day, guys. :)