daybreak || minsung

Chapter 6

In the dream, it was blindingly bright. A totally white room. Jisung would stand in front of me, the only colour in the place seeming to shine off his skin. I would stare into his eyes — black like the deepest, unexplored space — and reach out to him with one hand.

But I'd never touch him. He was so close, but my vision would betray me, and every night I would realize he was much farther from me than I thought. My hand would pass right through him like he was a hologram, and he would continue to stare through me like I was, too. I would always leave the dream in a panic, always fall back into the real world panting and disoriented.

The month that followed the accident was... well, it sucked.

Jisung didn't talk to me — I guess that wasn't surprising. I'd tried to reach out a week or so after the van incident, to negotiate a truce. He did save my life, after all... Maybe if I got over my ego and acted like I wasn't still on a mission, he would get comfortable around me and give me an explanation. (And I did realize this was a vague plan with a vague goal. Maybe I just wanted an excuse to think about him.)

So I'd said hi, a friendly smile on my face, as we waited for Biology to start. He'd smiled back neutrally, and then buried his nose into a book.

He still wasn't talking to me. Fine. I copied his demeanour and gave him the cold shoulder — even though we sat less than a few feet apart in class every single day.

Tyler Crowley refused to leave me alone. He followed me around like a baby duck who thought I was his duck mother. I felt like leading him out into traffic and telling him to lie down.

I was caught in a Love Hexagon between Jessica, Mike, Eric, Lauren and Angela. I wasn't sure who was pining after whom, or who was strongly disinterested in whom, but I was sure I didn't want to be a part of it. So I'd decided to talk less — not that I had ever talked much before.

"Are you asking anyone to the dance?" Jessica asked on the way to Spanish.

I was trying to get my eyes to uncross when she asked this — I wasn't operating on the highest level of brain performance — and I answered without thinking.

"God, no."

She gave me a funny look. "No girls catching your eye?"

"No girls."

She harrumphed. "You can still come with us. It'll be fun."

"Um." I didn't want to go. I'd have to get all dressed up and miss a night of excessive brooding to be stuffed into a room with a bunch of sweaty, swaying teens. I said the first thing that came to mind again, but this time it worked out well enough.

"Actually, I'm going to be in Seattle that night. Sorry. It sounds fun, though." At this point, lying was like my natural habitat.

"Aw, man," she said briefly. By the way her eyes were flitting to me, I could tell she wanted me to ask her whom she was going with.

"So, who are you going with?"

She talked at length about Mike and how they'd been circling each other for years and how she thought he was going to ask her. I huffed and hummed at the right places.

When the dreams had continued for the entire the month — ripping my precious sleep from my cold, dead hands — I was practically a zombie. I was in Biology, and Jisung was there, ignoring me, as always. I ignored him, too, with a passion. I was unable to pay attention to Mr. Banner, so I let myself zone out as I stared at my notebook.

The patterns on the cover started to move. The usual polkadots shifted spaces, trading with each other, dancing, and then they were stretching out, forming a large, almond-shaped eye. I had thought my notebook was green, but no, it was straight black now, white inside, and in the very middle — the iris and pupil — was the most beautiful and familiar gold...